Twenty-Six

I might as well have passed out at the sight of him. I'd only been singing my prayer that he'd be standing in the exact place he exactly was for days... even hours before.

I had no sense of anything. I just saw his eyes. I was unconscious. I hardly remember what even happened after that.

Caleb came inside, and we hugged, but I was in a daze. I wanted everyone but Caleb to go away, so I could try to focus. Caleb went back next door to get his stuff. I sat back down on the couch.  I was just holding my face and saying, “oh my gosh… oh my gosh…” And as if on cue, Caleb popped up up on the skype screen while he grabbed his computer which was still set up in my Grandma's house.  No wonder I wasn't sure where he was in his house...

      He came back, and soon Caleigh, Grandma, and Mom left. Caleb and I hugged more and Caleb said “Remember when I said I have a time and place in mind to talk about that stuff? Well, this is the time, and this is the place, if you want to talk now."

      Caleb gathered his things together, and went into the bathroom for a minute. That was my chance.

      I texted Trina a picture of Caleb to tell her what happened. She freaked out and told the other girls. The 3BE (3rd Burritt East... our old dorm) girls were all hangin’ out. I called Blakeley when Caleb was still in the bathroom, to whisper, “He came to my door Blake!” I didn’t want Caleb to hear.

      Blakeley texted back saying, “You are effing kidding me!” And I texted a picture of him and me, and then she said, “Get the frick out of my life!” It was hilarious.

      Trina had told me she was freaking out. I texted her back that I was dying.

      We eventually sat on the couch… I couldn’t really handle standing anymore. We hugged a lot, and he held my hands, and I held his, and it was just crazy. His hands felt strong. I loved it.

      He told me how he had always had a thing for me. He started talking about COR 302. When I started liking him, too.  He said there was one night in the library when he just had a crazy urge to kiss me, but didn’t.  He hadn't been sure about me though, because he didn’t wanna mess anything up. We were becoming friends, and Zach was a good friend of his, too.

      I was in a mental war about whether or not to tell him about "Too Much" being about him. I wasn't at a conclusion yet... but it didn't matter...

      "And then... that song..." he started. 

      Oh no!!! I was dead...

      "Someone told me you wrote a song about me... I didn't believe it, but thought maybe... Too Much..."

      I melted, and felt my face grow pink, and curled up in embarrassment... he had known! The little stinker!!!

      He told me about how he felt around New Year’s last year. He knew he flirted with me then. I certainly remember returning the favor of attention... 

      He said during the car accident he was so thrown off by how his first instinct was to protect me, and hold me as tightly as he could. He said he would go back to it all the time and think about how good it felt to hold me so tight. We shared how we both were confused by how that had happened. I told him I was so scared to see him again after that, because I became so emotional towards him. How could I not? I already had feelings at that point, small though they may have been. And then he basically saved my life, or saved me a lot worse damage? Once Upon A Time action right there...

He told me how he felt towards me after China, during which I rivaled his parents with how much I talked to him. He said how he felt so attracted to me when I kept inviting him to go swing dancing, that he was freaked out, and just couldn’t go. He said he was afraid he would start liking me. I remembered that night so clearly...

      He said he was on such a high after China—a spiritual high, and a "being-single high", and it scared him to have feelings for someone.

      We both confessed to pretending to sleep on the way home from the Jr Sr together in the back seat. BUSTED.

      He then said that when he saw me in September and hugged me, it just felt so good. 

      "Until about a month ago, I put it off... thoughts of you... but God finally got a hold of my heart, and changed it. I knew I had to come for you. It was time."

      I could hardly keep up... he was talking about every moment I'd already kept in my heart about him, and confirming it, explaining it... making sense of the years. 

      Caleb at some point in our talking had mentioned me as his girlfriend. I stopped him and said, “ So I’m your girlfriend?” 

      And he asked me, “Do you wanna be?” 

      Um. YES.

      I guess his intensions were slightly clear after coming to my door...  but I was waiting till he verbally affirmed it. None of the "Let's just see where this goes," crap. I'd done enough of that. Thank God he had, too.

      We couldn’t stop hugging, and I kept freaking out. I mean he had come all the way to New Jersey just to see me. What in the world?! 

      I told him my side of the story. As I was talking, he hugged me as I was curled up next to him. I realized the spikes of my unshaved legs were displayed in my capris sweatpants, and I freaked out, embarrassed...

      "I didn't shave!!" I covered my calves with my hands.

      "Shaina... it doesn't even matter.... I don't care. Don't be embarrassed."

      But I was. He was so cute...

      He would just stop and look at me when we were talking and shake his head slightly to say, “You are so pretty….” And he’s put his face so close to mine, and touch my cheek with his thumb.

      His eyes...

      I was numb. I kept shivering, though my body was warm. 

      I was shaking for hours.  Caleb would feel a chill go through me, and hug me closer, saying, “Aww, babe,”

      Oh my gosh, he just called me "babe!

      Another shiver... "Baby, come closer," he told me.

      Oh my gosh, he just called me "baby"!

      I took him for a tour of my apartment. We hugged a ton, and in the bathroom we caught what we look like hugging in the mirror for the first time. It was so cute, so we took a picture. We made it the background of our cell phones.

      I was walking on air. I watched him walk around, and couldn't believe it. You'd think I'd been struck by lightening by the shakes that'd seize me every few minutes... I was still in total shock. 

      I took him outside from the door in my room to see the lake. He carried me on his back because I didn’t have shoes on. We went down to the dock. He had given me his jacket because I kept shivering. How could I stop? He came to my door!!

      I kept shivering outside, and he’d hug me close to himself. He kept saying, “Babe, let’s go back in, you’re shivering, I don’t want you to get sick.”

      But he was with me, and I didn’t care to go back just yet. We stood out there a little bit longer, and I jumped back onto his back and he carried me back inside.

      Then we watched a movie. He let me pick it out. He brought a bunch with him, because they were all ones we said we’d watch together. I picked Dan in Real Life, because it was a comdey and wouldn't require much brain power. Which was good. Because I had none. 

      Even still, I didn’t even catch all of it because I was still just so overwhelmed that Caleb was there. And not just there, but he had both arms around me tight, and I was leaning my head on his shoulder.

      I was still shivering. I couldn’t believe it was really happening.

      After the movie, I took Caleb home to my family’s house, and drove back home for the night. But sleep was hardly an option.