Love is not

I don't always do well simply reading the Bible. It doesn't just make sense to me every time. Truth be told, I've read the Bible cover to cover a few times, and I still don't get it all.

I love that no matter how many times I read the Bible, I still have more to learn and understand. That's cool to me. But it requires more work, and sometimes that's frustrating.

I like reading commentaries and grasping something new about something I've read or heard a thousand times. Growing up in the church can cause such a mundane feeling when it comes to the Bible. It really can get so boring without context.

So I was thinking about 1 Corinthians 13... you know, the "love chapter." It's quoted endlessly, even by people who don't give a rip about the Bible or any kind of faith.

So in this commentary, I learned something very thought provoking.

Most of what the love chapter talks about is what love is NOT.

This letter about love wasn't just so the church in Corinth could practice love. It was correctional. Saying love isn't jealous, or proud was specific to them. They were very jealous and proud people. Saying that love doesn't keep record of wrongs or insist on one's own way was because they did keep record of wrongs and they did insist on their own ways rather than thinking about someone else.

The "love chapter" we apply to seemingly everything was written with such specific purpose. We use it so broadly. So generally. So much more loosely than it was originally used.

Sure we can apply the principles taught in the passage... the fruit of the spirit all give birth to each other.. you really can't be kind without gentleness. You can't be peaceful and not loving. But the passage was written with very pin pointed implications.

It made me start to wonder what a letter written to me about love would look like.

Love is not...

Well, how don't I show love?

Dear Shai,

Love is not snapping at your husband when he's exhausted too.

Love is not letting your mind wander when someone is trying to talk to you.

Love is not taking the easy way out because you don't feel like putting in the effort on someone else's behalf.

The list would go on and on and on and on.

Seeing love defined so tailored to my life is much more convicting than reading 1 Corinthians 13 for me, honestly.

I'd imagine the church at Corinth feeling very convicted by 1 Corinthians 13 because it was about them specifically.

So, yeah. I learn a lot more when I understand the context. Suddenly, something I've heard a thousand and one times hits me head on. Love is not... me.

All there is

We are so bound.

We fall apart. We unravel. We cry. We come undone.

But we are bound.

I can't get out of my shell, my frame, my body.

That leads me to believe that "I" am not just what I look like. I have a spirit. I'm not just hands, feet, and face.

I've been thinking about how I am going to teach Selah about how to take care of herself, but to also point her towards the Lord with why I'm teaching her to do so.

How do I teach her to brush her teeth, and eat healthful foods, and go to bed when I instruct her to so she will grow big and strong? That's not all there is to it.

I've never been the type of person that just accepts surface answers. "Because I said so," only goes so far with me. I don't like giving those answers, either.  Yes, I hope to gracefully teach Selah to respect authority (I will fail very often, of course). But I want my girl to know WHY we do the things we do.

I want Selah to know that our earthly responsibilities are a response to something greater, deeper, more fulfilling.

We live the narrative of the Gospel in our lives. It's a glorious truth... everything in our lives points to something. I want to create an awareness in my daughter that the earth isn't all there is. There is a God who loves her. There is a purpose for her life.

There is an evil one who desires to destroy her, and cause her to feel that the earth, the fading, breaking, disappearing world is all there is.

The world is crumbling around us. We, people, age. We die. But that's not the end.

If it's not the end when we die, then it's not the end when we live.

If my Selah can know that, she won't be defeated when her heart and flesh fail.

We are bound by humanness. We are kept in a cage of corruption and imperfection. Sin, like a thread running through an entire tapestry, spins through every part of us.

We're given an opportunity to worship in the way we live our lives. Because it's not all there is, even though it's all we're accustomed to. It's not all there is.

Simple

Living simply is something that has always drawn me in. I hate being overwhelmed by too many things. If you know me, you know this sounds probably like a lie, since I do a thousand things everyday, and when I do less than a thousand things a day, I feel like I accomplished nothing. It's a problem.

But what is also a problem is the way "stuff" rules the world. I've seen it circulating around Facebook and Pinterest all the posts on how to minimize your closets so only 15 items and how to minimize the amounts of toys and clothes we have for our kids.

I love it.

It's really important to me to instill a comfortability in my family to live simply. I never had the yearly huge shopping trip to spend a few hundred dollars on new school clothes. I loved going to thrift stores and searching for the cheap but awesome treasures I'd find. Getting massive bags of hand me downs was never a burden to me. I never felt like I lacked anything growing up in a home with 7 other kids. There was always an abundance of bodies in the house, and never a ton of money for "extras." I was never sad, though. I had everything I needed.

I want my children to feel that way, too.

It's honestly been challenging to still have plenty of gift cards for Target left from my baby showers nearly a year ago. Caleb and I agreed we'd only use that money for things for the baby. We haven't spent money on diapers yet, because we've stuck to this. Oh, except that time I forgot the gift cards... ok, we have spent $9 on diapers. Still not bad ;)

It's hard to walk around and see fun little baby toys, and deeply desire to see Selah's face when I present her with some toy. But she doesn't even really care right now. In fact, as I type right now, Selah is sitting in front of me in her bedroom having an absolute blast tearing apart her sock bin. The socks are everywhere, and she is ecstatic.

Spend money to get a toy she doesn't need, or allow her to explore what she has, be it a toy or not?

I want to be flexible with the fact that children aren't neat freaks. I want Selah to have fun with what she has, not feel like she doesn't have enough.

I've only bought one outfit since Selah was born myself, too. People love to give their old clothes, and I am a happy receiver. I hope to return the favors to other moms in the future.

I'm thankful for the upbringing I had full of yard sales, thrift stores and hand me downs.

For this time in Selah's life, I'm the one that needs to be content with hand me downs for her. She's as happy as she'd be in hand me downs as anything else.

I like it simple. I want her to be comfortable in a simple lifestyle.