Worship

I decided I'd take a break from writing my paper... This week for Intro to Worship, we have to read a chapter on Emerging worship, and write a two-page response. So, I read the chapter. Check. I started writing the paper, but the chapter was confusing. I got a total of two words on my word doc right now. Both of which consist of my first and last name. I figure that's a good start.

I've been sort of thoughtful though as I was reading this final chapter in this book for Worship class. Especially in this chapter on Emerging worship. Even though I feel like I couldn't even find a point to it, I was intrigued by the fictional story the chapter opened with. It was a story about a common day in the life of a worship leader really. And it was really depressing. I suppose life does get tiring and exhausting and it can feel entirely mundane in it's backbreaking repetition. However, I felt rather frustrated with the description.

The story was meant to paint a picture of how many worship leaders and church leaders take it upon themselves to "fix" the hurting world, and to bring people back to the Lord, instead of allowing the work to be done by God himself. I may have these facts wrong. Like I said, I was spacing while I was reading. Anyway, I'm just gonna fly with my thoughts anyway.

I disagree with the thought that worship leaders put on an act to "bring people back." I feel like that was a slap in the face. I think worship leaders as well as pastors need to be above reproach and do the best they can to maintain a good example, but I can hardly agree that they're fake.

Once, Don Jagers, a pastor who used to be at my home church, told our Epic worship team (For the Epic service at my church... a young adult service) that we had to put everything else but God aside when we're leading, or speaking. We're vessels of God. Our hearts before God matter more than anything, and if we're not "right" before God, if we're not pure before Him in our hearts and minds, we can't be up there leading. We need to be "prayed up," and humble before Him, before we can have anything to do with being used as a vessel for Him.

I held on to that. It didn't mean that I had to "pretend" to be all happy and "Yay for Jesus!" when I was singing or playing for worship. It did mean I had to realize I would be seen, watched, and possibly judged because I was before many people. I needed to concern myself with God above all, and know that I was "in the right place" before I even step on the stage.

In youth group in high school, and on the Epic worship team, there were of course times I felt unfairly judged. And to be honest, I know I've judged other worship leaders and pastors unfairly myself. For some reason, it seems right to call them to an arena of superhumans, who can't make mistakes, who have to act, dress and speak a certain way, and most of all, they have to be happy all the live long day, without a smudge of imperfection. Or else... FAIL.

But I cannot understand how this is beneficial, or realistic. I think that being genuine is the issue. And we, as humans, are subject to misinterpretation. We're going to get it wrong. We're going to think that a pastor or worship leader should or should not do something that he did or did not do. We have our long list of expectations, but not everyone is going to follow those numbers one by one.

My point is, I didn't like the opening of the chapter on emerging worship. I don't think it's right to say that worship leaders these days wear a costume of perfection in order to never be questioned. What's the point in that?! Life is hard! We're gonna fall and get blood on our hands and knees and we just might have to grip a microphone with the same dirtied hands. But the thing is, we're allowed to bring our scraped up hands and knees to our Jesus. We don't have to be perfect. That's the whole point... that we're not perfect. However, when we're in leadership, we have an incredibly important and tedious role to not only play, but to be. We have to be examples. We have to be pure and spotless before the Lord above all. This shouldn't be any different than any other person in any other role, but we are leaders, and must bear that name with seriousness and humility. And also, we can't forget we're just like everyone else. Yet while we're just like everyone else, we have a call to be genuine before God and before people as His vessels.

This is kind of jumbled. But I feel better now and more prepared to figure out what to write for my response. I usually get pretty fired up when I read the books for Intro to Worship. It's something I'm crazily passionate about, and have a lot of predispositions about. Alright now... onward to the finish line of the completion of this paper due tomorrow!