Sweet Nothings

As I type, I'm sitting on a bench in the center of the Greenville College campus. No, I am not home yet. Still got a few more hours before we leave.

The sky so clear, and open above me invites a sigh of contentment yet question. I can't tell if I'm so contemplative yet still right now because I'm so full, or because I'm vacant. I can't tell if my thoughts are solid or soft. Brick, or sand. Tangible, or out of reach. I can't tell if I'm happy to go home, or just plain confused. So I guess sitting with that crazy bright star in front of me, and the moon on my left might allow me the space to collect my scattered thoughts.

I was about to say that there is absolutely no one in sight, but a few people just walked through campus. Visitors. I'd recognize them I think if they were students.

This year is ending. My junior year is concluded. It feels odd to still be here. It's kinda of like, "Where is my identity?" because I'm just coexisting with the buildings on campus. Now that graduation is over, and almost all of my goodbyes have been said, I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Wow, this sounds so depressing. Let's move to a lighter note.

I can honestly say this school year has been amazing. I love the person I've become. I'm different than I used to be. Even I can see that. I'm not sure if the changes are subtle or not, but I know I'm different. I never thought I'd have the capacity of love in my heart to make more incredible friends than I already have at home. But I think something else I've learned is love is something that cannot be contained. It's an odd phenomenon I could never explain. I just know it's not to be contained. And when it is contained, it's a bummer. Bad times. Sad day.

You know... I don't think I even have enough of my head right now to finish this. It's just going to go in circles. Maybe I'll get my act together in this braided head of mine sometime soon. Until then, I think I might just soak in the vast expansion above me. And try not to let any more bugs down my shirt like just now. Yeah. That'd be awesome.