Freak

This morning, I woke up with a melody in my head. Mornings like these are incredible. I reach for my phone and with my morning wonder of a voice i croak out the words and melody that greeted me before my eyes could adjust to the sun.

And I figured I'd blog about this. I have been really amused in the last few weeks as I've performed some new songs for an audience. I always write under inspiration. If I am not feeling the words out of my own heart, it's stupid. It's not worth sharing. Hardly. I feel like I can't even be the artist who created it if I can't even relate it inside out and spread out on a table. And I guess I've said that numerous time. Because quite a few people I know pretty well, and some not as well, have told me they've been wondering who my song "Too Much" is about. And I'll just say this. If it were about someone, I wouldn't tell you. And although I think it's crazy and kind of lame to write a love-ish song about an imaginary figure in my head, I will admit to occasionally using several different experiences in my own life, into one main idea that I use in a song. So... take that as you will. It's all I'm gonna give ya:)

Anyway, today, this new melody was in my head. And not only that, but a hook with it. A line that could be perfect for a lyrical hook. I thought it was catchy anyway, in my morning disillusion. Golly, mornings like this are like God saying, "Hey Shaina Joy! Catch!" And oh man... I love it. And so the song became whole, and I really like it. My piano skills kick me in the butt. But Zach will come home eventually form going to Em's graduation. And then he'll turn crap music, into beautiful tunes. That's my plan for him anyway.

I know people are going to wonder who this song is about. And no, there was no recent relationship starting and then ending in the last week. Just in case anyone would have the urge to think so. But I will say this. The concept. I wrote about the concept. It doesn't mean that it's not about someone. It does mean that I took threads from a number of thoughts and experiences, and attempted to sew them together into a tapestry, which I have titled, "Away."

And so, if you hear , "Away," just relax, and remember, yes I write what's on my heart, but it's not always about one specific person.

I think I've said this before, but life experiences (especially the painful ones) are so incredibly valuable for a songwriter. It's like a gardener pulling up a crap load of mud full of worms and grossness, and then showing someone who has never dirtied the hands before. To those clean-fingered ones, that stuff is disgusting and means only a mess. But to that gardener, gloved and ready for a blooming battle, that crap is what will make the garden grow. The worms will protect what might become beautiful. The mud will surround the seed that might grow into the rose you'll woo that lady with. It's all to make the end product not only possible, but better. It's the same with the art I love. I write about it. I sing about it. I play about it. The mud of memories keeps my art in place. The worms of fragile, and heartbreaking moments become the hands to craft a beautiful moment in the end.

Sometimes I feel like I should go back to those who were at one point in my life, but in one way or another, are not now. Those moments of exit were recorded well in my heart and in my head. And I've more than likely written a song or more about the story. Sometimes I wish I could say, "Thank you!" because the inspiration was so moving, and freeing, and completely wonderful.

So, now that i've reiterated that I'm a freak, I'm gonna go now. Peace.