In between

Ok! Update!

My life is just madness right now. What a bizarre time... sometimes I'm not sure where I belong at the moment. Like, am I an "adult"? I've been putting resumes together and applications for big girl jobs. I feel like throwing lots of rocks in my pond a few block away. Just keep throwing until the water's dry. Sort of like my throat. Would you believe that I'm still sick? This thing is lingering like the ache in my heart when I think about all the people I miss so much spread all over the country.

My days are extremely unusual. I do not have a normal schedule. The things that have been constant have been songwriting (song a day still going strong!), and reading my Bible (day 11!), journaling a crazy ton (Almost done a whole journal since getting back to Jersey), and running fairly often. Today I was so tired when I was running... seriously, I was drenched in sweat too. It felt fantastic to finally shower and get in sweats. Like, fo reeal.

I think a year ago around this time I mentioned how I went in to BCC (my old school) and got to speak about homeschooling in one of my old teacher's classes, Teaching As A Profession, a class I took at the end of my sophomore year of college. I did it again today, and got to meet with Mrs. Furness afterwards for lunch. It was so sweet. So wonderful to meet with old friends, and people who've helped me get to where I am today.

I've been struggling a lot with this strange phase of life. Honestly, I don't know that I've ever felt so off balance this often. I love being in the swing of things. I love adventure, and new things, and going full force on to the next things. But it's the in between stuff that seems to make me stick to the floor like there's tar on my heels.

Which reminds me of these incredible shoes I just got. Real vintage. I'm obsessed. I have a new passion. As if this heart of mine could handle one more thing to be passionate about. Have mercy.

Anyway, the back and forth questioning of what is going on in life is so draining.

Reading my Bible as much as I have been to do this 90 day thing has been one of the best things this summer. It's only June 8th. It feels like I've been home a long time. I suppose I've already learned a lot. Some days feel like they last 5 days. But then some feel like they last a few hours. Then at the end of a week, I feel like pulling my hair and saying, "THAT WAS ONLY ONE WEEK!?"

And. I desperately need a job. Praise the Good Lord for the few students I have this summer. Without them... I'd be going absolutely crazy.

Ok. Something I want so desperately to do, is go thrifting at Villiage Thrift. I want to go thrift shopping so badly. And that place is thee best, ok? Everything is like 70 cents. Perfs, yo.

Please listen to this song. It's one of the songs Sarah, Katie and I would listen to in the dark with our eyes closed like I mentioned a few posts ago. It was one of our favorite songs, and I feel somewhat close to it right now. Cause I'm somewhere in between.



So... this is my update thus far.