Divine

So... there's something God is teaching me. And true to my form... I like telling people.

So, there are a thousand million things that I do not know about my future right now. I hardly know what will happen tomorrow. I am a planner. I hate this. I have so much ambition, that if a dream were an arrow, I'd shoot better and more consistently than Legolas. Because I'm the boss.

Haha... I'm not the boss, but my personality, I act like I am. Sometimes I feel like I am. At least of myself.

Well, I feel like God's maybe hitting me with an arrow right now.

And if His arrows are dreams too, He's telling me that I'm His dream.

And if I want to live my life for His glory, for His dreams and not mine, then following a path I did not map out for myself is not such a stretch.

Also... how many times I've been going to God pulling my hair out and saying, "Oh my gosh, I just need to hear form you. I just need to know what's going on."

And you know the response I'm getting?

Nothing really.

Except this. Which I've understood under completely different context.

"I don't give you more than you can handle."

That's usually about temptation and hard times. God won't give us what we can't handle.

Well, I think God's telling me "Shai, I'm not giving you more because this is what is good for you to know right now. "

That is not an answer I can give to the hundreds of people asking me, "So what's next for you Miss College Graduate?" Our culture is all about knowing things at a time convenient for questions like that. Convenient for ourselves. According to ourselves.

So. I think I'm in a struggle with that right now. And it's really kind of wonderful. It's something that is so freeing and relaxing...

I honestly have felt a lot of peace when some things have fallen through lately. Because I feel like I'm at such a loss that when things wreck my plans it's a chance for God to redirect me, or the actual redirection itself. And I'm open to any direction at all. Even if it's a 180.

So that's it right now.

The character of God is consistent. He doesn't give us more than we can handle. No more temptation than we can handle, no more frustration, no more confusion, and no more knowledge than we can handle.

What God has chosen not to reveal to us at a given time is divinely orchestrated. So enjoy the orchestra with the instruments currently playing. Divine.