I don't like not being missed. Today I picked Caleigh up from my old college and went in to see my old teachers. I was their student only but a year ago... surely they'd remember me right? I went in to say hi to my previous voice teacher, she nearly walked right passed me, and stood awkwardly as I gave her a hug. Not at all like we haven't seen one another for nearly 12 months... it was kind of funny, though a thrill of surprise in a dismal kind of way. My beckoning smile persisted, but she hardly met my eyes when she walked away asking how school was. I responded positively, and then that was basically it.
This to say, I adore Professor Brown. My current voice teacher. That woman can make me sound like a happy songbird even when it's raining icicles in my heart and in the air beyond her studio. She's one of the most joyful women I've met, and is a true lover of music, and a believer in the beauty that can be found in its wonder. I know if I came back to Greenville after having graduated a year before, she'd be a completely different person than I encountered today at my sister's school.
Next, I went to say hi to another of my previous teachers. She was pretty nice, and asked me nice questions about my current school and my plans for the future. She made me feel like she was maybe happy to see me. I'd comment that that encounter was uplifting, especially compared to the one I had just experienced.
And last, my old theory teacher. I don't think he recognized me.... how could that be though? I put my old profs through so much in my fire and unstoppable fervor to graduate when I intended to. They may have nightmares about me to this day. My response to that is-- come on... don't hate me cause I knew what I wanted, right? Hah! Ok, that's maybe a little much... but I do know it'd be ridiculous if they really didn't remember me.
Then as I explained to him (my theory teacher) that I was on break and just wanted to say hi, he mentioned he remembered I was away at a school perhaps in "the midwest?" I told him a little about my new life and how much I'm loving Greenville. He responded to me cordially, not at all like I wanted him to. I think the truth is... Greenville has spoiled me. Ruthlessly.
I've become accustomed to my teachers making the effort to engage in their students. They invest within us. They encourage, they ask for our needs so that they can lift us up in prayer. They sit by us on school trips and ask us how we're doing. They make the effort to visit our own home towns on choir tours. They invite us into their homes when we're taking a walk by their houses. They tell us to come in to say hello when we're getting out of class early. They stop to shake our hands and say, "Job well done!" After performances and concerts.
For some reason, I forgot that wasn't always the case in my role as a college student.
I forgot the discouragement I faced in other circumstances. I forgot the way BCC "got me there" (the school motto is "we can get you there") was by the skin of my own teeth, and the split ends of my own hair, and by the strength of my own head and hands and those who supported me of course.
It was funny to walk the halls that used to greet me every day I was on campus in my freshman and sophomore years of college. Quite odd to be a graduated student. Quite odd to be an alumnus, especially as I walked by those much older than me carrying books I once studied from myself.
The second teacher I greeted today was pretty sweet. I don't mean to sound so down on BCC, even though I know I sound like it and basically, I'm not applauding the school... in light of my experiences at Greenville though I realize how great it is there and how different my previous experiences were in comparison. However, Ms. Hunter congratulated me on my accomplishments and so forth, and told me she appreciated me stopping in.
Goodness me... the change in climates between Greenville and BCC... I can appreciate it so much having been through a much different pilgrimage beforehand.
It is so good to be home. Perfect actually. Last night I was welcomed with the warning that the room was not cleaned yet entirely... I gave the invitation to finish cleaning before I entered because I wanted some time to hang with my mom and dad and stuff, but my sisters declined the invitation. So instead of pulling out my mattress to sleep on, I slept in Caleigh's bed.... with her. HAH! It was hilarious... and to be honest we do it a lot. It's not a big deal. We're quite used to it. And in fact, it was probably more comfortable than sleeping practically on the ground on a mattress...
So when I arose this morning, I put on my new dress I got with Karel last week. I love it. And went to get Cal, stopped at Borders and met Bomb, and took Caleigh to work. I missed all my little munchkins I used to watch when I had Caleigh's job! They screamed and ran over to me, and wouldn't let go. Ohhhhhh how I adore them!!! In front of their "teacher" that my sister works with they asked if I could work instead of her (who Caleigh works with)... that was pretty sad they said it in front of her, but so freaking adorable too. I greeted many of my old friends from the school that I worked with before going to Greenville. It was really sweet.
And so now I prepare for making my grand appearance at drama tonight. I can't wait to see everyone, and be in the drama environment. It's the best experience of all of my schooling years, no doubt at all.
Ahhh, so my conclusion is I missed home, I missed my people, and I enjoy the fact that I was missed by some of them:)
And so this concludes this drawn out article. Yes, I will still pretend I am a columnist:)
Miss you Shaina!!!
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