I feel like I really haven't written for a while. I guess I haven't in the span of how often i had been writing before now. Only a few more weeks of school left! I am very very excited about that. I'm really not dreading classes at this point though, which is good. I guess I'm tiring, but I'm not quite as desperate as I thought I'd be. I'm in a pretty happy content medium right now. It feels good.
The only thing I am about to start a revolt about is allergies. I would love to be able to sing without nearly dying brutally on the floor. After all I am a voice major... so I have a question. Whose smarty pants idea was it to have a music school in the middle of the pollen capital? Think on that.
Anyway, I've been doing kind of a study on love in the Bible. Mostly agape love, meaning God's love. I'd write that in Greek if I could but I don't have the font... I love Greek. But when I was reading a few days ago, I found it strangely new for the first time, that love is not a human creation. We adapted the concept. We love because He loves. And these words I'm typing are probably boring, because they're all words repeated so many times they become so normal. I knew these words. I knew the truth in them. But I don't think I've ever grasped the concept comparably to how I have now. Love is a heavenly entity. It is only of God. We are able to take hold of that which is not our idea. We're allowed to love other people.
The reason I think I was struck by this, is for a few reasons. One, growing up in a charismatic church, I learned soon that God is not an emotion. He is not a human entity that we can relate to. It doesn't mean that God is not present if I don't cry in worship. It doesn't mean God isn't listening to me if I'm not struck by lightening. It doesn't mean God is punishing me by causing me to feel void when I seek Him. He's not human. When I expect Him to meet me in human relatable ways, I might be disappointed. Something else I learned, is how incredible a gift it is when God does meet with us, and we experience Him in a mighty way, relatable to our human sense. He meets us where we are. A God completely inhuman meets with us, so far below Him. What an incomprehensible gift!
So now I think of love in a similar way. Love was something God did. It was an element of God. And he expanded it, and gave love to us, the incomprehensible gift, an element of God. An element of an unearthly God, inhuman in every way. God the Father, the one who took intangible and made it tangible. He stretched our hands to make them able to grasp what shouldn't be able to fit in our hands. Love. It's of God. God IS love. How can we hold Love?
I know I'm in some ways rambling... I guess I can't even describe the revelation I feel I've had... But I'll just end here anyway. Cor class is calling!
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