Vespers is the student led chapel on Thursday nights. And it is completely wonderful, and I always come out of there feeling so full of joy...
Tonight the girl who spoke spoke about seeking approval from others. It's a human disease. It's what we all crave, some of us more than others. And something she said tonight resinated deep inside of me.
People are so untrustworthy. We trust others to validate us. To approve of us. To think well of us. But who do we think we are? We're of the same people that crucified a perfect Savior. And somehow we find reason to trust these people, these fallen people, to know the difference between what is good, and what is bad, to validate us, the same fallen people? The same fallen people who killed our Jesus, even though he was spotless, blameless, perfect? What do we know?
And Jesus, Our Savior... says every moment, "Shaina Joy, I choose you. You are mine." And I rush back to the mirror, and to the people around me to make sure I'm "ok."
I think I realized something tonight. Approval doesn't mean love. My parents love me. But it doesn't mean they always approve of the things I do or say. And I can love someone so deeply, and entirely despise the things he or she does. I love them, but I don't always approve.
And here's where I falter. I get in the habit of knowing so well that I am so loved by the Lord, i misinterpret His endless love for constant approval. But His love is not bound by what I do right. His approval is still to be sought at every moment. I need to seek His praise and His affirmation. His love is in tact. And my worship is entirely due Him.
I want to be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10-- Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
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