One thing I am seriously looking forward to this summer... time to write. Write music. Hallelu... I miss music. I miss new melodies, and finally putting words to soundless but catastrophic emotions. It's like finding something you've been looking for all through your house. You go nuts. But when you find it... alas. Peace.
I feel this is one thing I've truly lacked this year. This job has severely pinned me down, and cast me out of a few things extremely necessary and important in my life, songwriting being one of them.
I haven't completed a song in over a month. This is something that completely grieves me.
I have pieces here and there, but this isn't like me.
I'm looking forward to some changes in my life that will allow me the time and energy I need to get back to the basics. The good stuff.
Like going for a run because I want to, and have the time. Instead of, "I should run. No, I shouldn't. I don't have time. But I'm stressed. That would help then. But I'm tired."
It's frustrating.
I am always making more and more goals for myself. I'm excited to make some goals this Summer that will really fuel me towards things I want to accomplish an pursue. Again, music being one of them.
These next 6 weeks or so will be taxing. Of this I am sure. It's been difficult for me to keep focused and living in the now when I'm looking forward so much.
Certainly something I struggle with... enjoying life constantly.
I miss Laura. She and I were best friends in the music department at Burlington County College. We still see each other, but it's been a while since we've really gotten to live life together.
We used to do hilarious things to "ENJOY LIFE!" As was out motto. We both struggled not to get stressed and over anxious with school and the demands of life.
We are both first born daughters, with very smart older brothers.
We conquered much of our bad habits together because we related and could spur each other on towards just relaxing and being silly and enjoying the little things.
I need to call her. This is what this blog is helping me see:) Seeing her a few minutes Monday was not enough. Love that girl.
I miss you too! And I miss working out in the BCC gym, eating apples and peanut butter with lemon water, and homemade popcorn (with your sisters coming in trying to steal a handful for themselves). Ahh...Shaina Joy... I miss those good old days!
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