I want both

So I have a jolly good time with my students. I teach a lot of people. I teach piano and voice lessons in addition to 2nd grade.

So, lately, God has honestly been so real to me. I mean, sometimes I definitely pull that, "I feel far from God" stuff, and I'm not lying... sometimes I really am. But recently, I don't know what's in my drink, but I keep finding Him speaking to me in ways that make me laugh. I'm not always looking for it, but He's made me very keenly aware of Himself.

Today I was teaching my last voice student. A little boy. And He was so impatient. He kept saying, "Are we done!?" And that's not a happy thing for the teacher. It's just like, "Just tell me you hate me, and I'll let you go. Forget about imparting my passion on your young soul." Haha, no but for real. It's not what teachers like to hear.

So I asked him, "You want to watch the movie right?" The kids down the hall at the school were watching a movie in the After Care program.

"Yes! And I want to watch it!" He told me. His eyes were pleading with me. "They're all out there, and they're having fun without me!"

"But you're in here having fun without them!" I told him with a smile. Trying to use his own logic against him.

"But I want both!" He told me, displeased with the situation.

You probably see where I'm going with this.

Alas, The Lord uses a child to get my attention.

So often are we-- am I-- displeased with my situations. My circumstances. So often I voice my student's same complaint. "They're over there having fun and I'm over here having fun, and I want both and I'm mad about it and I'm gonna complain the whole time I'm over here while they're over there to the point that while I'm over here having fun I'm not having fun at all."

Yes. That was a run-on. And that's exactly how it sounds.

So Jesus tapped me on the shoulder while I listened to this young child today. Like He was looking at me and giving me a look that said, "Hah... you have more in common with this kid than ya thought, huh?"

Yes. I could relate. So while I'm over here in this place in life so much different than many of my friends, I'm gonna enjoy it. Not on my own, but with the One who stalks me like the moon stalks the sun. Ahhhh my Jesus is so sweet. So good to me.

While I say to God, "I want both!" more and more He's showing me I have it all in Him. Every desire and dream I have is a reflection of my innate desire for Him. I want both, and have it all.