Moses spoke words I often speak. With my heart, with my eyes, searching, needing. I need someone to depend on. To lead me. Shepherd me. To go out before me, and in before me. Should I become that of a sheep without a shepherd? Should I be that of an aimless wanderer, lost?
The shepherds in my life have taken on many forms. The shepherds in my life have been people, things, thoughts, places.
They disappoint.
"Let the Lord, the God of the spirits of all flesh, appoint a man over the congregation who shall go out before them, who shall lead them out and bring them in, that the congregation of the Lord may not be as sheep that have no shepherd. " (Number 27:15-17)
It's a cry of old, a desire repeated, a tendency strained to look towards someone. To be led. To trust.
A building, walls. Sunday mornings, sometimes more. A church. A pastor.
Disappointment.
I could shrivel up. I have. I could continue, still, to dry.
That would mean the Gospel failed. But, it hasn't.
The herds of people, sinners like me, sheep, leaving the church or remaking it have one thing in common: their shepherd.
Our shepherd was never meant to be a creation, a human, a place. A creation created by the Creator, the Good Shepherd, the One who goes before us, hems us in behind and before.
In order to find healing, in order to forgive, forget, remember, stand again, we must acknowledge who our true Shepherd is.
No comments:
Post a Comment