Firewood

Tonight Lindsay Allen and I worked out and chatted... it's been a while since we got to just talk. We're both intense and deep people who just love to be with people. And hug people:) Anyway, I was just so blessed to just spend some time with her.

As sweat lined my upper lip, and she looked at the ceiling in the agony of her workout, we tossed out the things we've been thinking about, praying about... ticked out... impatient about. Ahhh I love friends.

Most people who know me well know my tongue could propel a boat with a broken motor probably better than the motor itself. I can talk a lot. I don't always, but baby, get me started on a good day, and you're doomed. But the great thing is, Lindsay loves to listen, and she loves to talk as well. And I love to listen. I love conversation. I love connecting with people. I love hearing someone's heart. Honesty is so beyond beautiful, I can't explain it. I love it.

God reminded me of a lot of things He's been teaching me and showing me lately.

A while ago, there was this man at my church. He approached my dad one day, and said, "I woke up this morning, and felt like the Lord just wanted me to bless someone with some sort of gift, and firewood came to my head. I know you sell firewood, so I thought I'd come to you."

He began asking my dad for his prices and what not. It was in the middle of Winter, and firewood sounded like a pretty good idea... warm fires for some family in the church.



And somewhere in that conversation, my family's finances came up.

Now, my family is huge. Eight kids. Two parents. Four people in college at the same time. Things certainly get rough.

End of the story consists of that man taking out his wallet and saying to my dad, "You're the one I'm supposed to give to."

And that was that.

What astounds me, is not just how beautiful his gift was to my dad and my family, but also the misinterpretation he had in the first place, which is what led him to what God's actual intension was.

He said he just kept thinking firewood... he interpreted that as buying firewood for someone... not that the firewood would lead him to the person God was leading him to.

So in my own life, I keep thinking of a few things I feel entirely lost with. I mentally bang my head against the wall, and ball up my fists, and press my teeth together to keep from screaming. Didn't God reveal something to me already? Didn't He speak to me? Didn't I hear Him right? Why isn't it working out?

And so tonight, I've been reminded... In times when I feel like God told me something, but the "X" does anything but "mark the spot" in my life, I really might not have misunderstood. I may have misinterpreted, but I did hear Him.

I keep wanting to throw away so many things I held so close to my heart. So many things I thought God had given me... revealed to me. The inspiration He's planted so firmly in me. I'm disgusted with the fact that the "X" I thought I'd come to, to "mark the spot," is really a huge "L" planted perfectly on my forehead.

So that man at church went after the firewood. But the firewood wasn't the end zone... it was on the way. He heard God correctly. It just wasn't the end of the story.

And so, here I am 10 days away from completing my next to last semester in college. Ever. What confusing bliss is this! While I'm slowly absorbing the answers to many of my coming exams, I feel quite distant to the answers I felt I already had in my walk with God, and in life in general.

But then again, I might be only looking at firewood. And firewood isn't always the end of the story.

Sometimes my own comprehension doesn't go as deep as God's intent does. Actually, let's just say it like it is-- my own comprehension never goes as deep as God's intent. But the reality is, I might not have misunderstood. And that is enough to give me some relief in this world of ridiculous unanswered questions.

Sometimes we just have to follow to see where the firewood takes us. Maybe it is the "X" we've been waiting to dig up. Or maybe it's just along the way to what's still to come.

For that man, the detail of the firewood was extremely important. And it is for us too. It's crucial. It's all part of the story.

So if you're discouraged, and upset that things just aren't matching up yet, don't fret chum:) If you're ready to throw away your whole idea you had, don't do it yet. It just might be your firewood that's along the way. And it's crucial. It's important. Don't throw it away. I won't either.