Eight

I found myself on the library steps the night before graduation with Sarah Beth Meyers (now Janes), and Ashley Norwood. Nearly everyone on campus was home for the Summer. But not us choir kids. We had to sing for commencement. 

The three of us chatted about random things, but soon it got deep. Sarah talked about how she wanted to marry Jason (who's now her husband) and Ashley talked about the next year. I talked about how I had developed somewhat of a crush on someone. Though I told them no name.

A dramatic silence followed. And then...

"TELL US." Ashley told me. 

They went around to who it could be... if he was at the bonfire that night. 

Ahh yes. The bon fire. 

Zach, Jay, Caleb and a few more of us gathered around the benches outside of West Oak. Caleb was wearing a plaid shirt, purple and blues. I watched his eyelashes as he texted on his phone. He was probably texting the girl who was winning him... I opened my own phone and texted my friend Jeremy. I had told him all about Caleb. I told Jere that Caleb was just so gorgeous. more gorgeous than anyone I knew. He was just so attractive. I loved just watching his flipping eyelashes! I liked the shape of his eyes. 

Someone had it bad...

Ahem. 

We crowded around the bonfire in the Gullies. I wished so hard Caleb would just notice me, and come sit by me. 

Where was the guy who was so in tune to every letter I erased on his paper? What about all the times I'd just look up from my computer, and he'd be instantly looking up at me, too?  Maybe I'd been a fool. Maybe I dreamed that up. Still, I couldn't say I'd missed all the answers on his face, so many times. 

He never sat next to me. It was ok, though. I suddenly didn't mind leaving a few days later. Maybe the sooner the better. 

I was mixed. 

Ashley and Sarah kept guessing who my little crush was... until Ashley's eyes grew the size of saucers.

"..." dramatic pause before slowly, articulately saying, "CALEB?" More in disbelief. 

My hesitation was answer enough. 

Sarah Beth didn't say a word. 

Then. It hit me. CALEB IS ONE OF SARAH'S BEST FRIENDS. 

I was dead. 

But I wasn't. Sarah Beth went on and on about how perfect it was, and how it had to work. Ashley chimed in about how Caleb is wonderful. Like I needed reassurance... but it felt good, nonetheless. 

Just then... though I couldn't see him, for I was sitting against the wall railing... Caleb. 

Had he heard? I lived through one of his best friends finding out my true feelings... but HIM. NO. 

He was out star gazing. I'll skip the details. It was official. I had lost.