The Story

How do I begin the story of the best day of the rest of my life? How do you start the story that you tried to imagine since you were a little girl particularly skilled at stealing Mommy's lipstick? Do I say, "once upon a time..."? This moment in time did indeed happen once... but it will be on repeat in my head until the day I die. My goodness... it's good enough to be on the big screen in Heaven. If there's not a big screen up there, maybe this story will be inspiration enough.

Saturday August 18, 2012, I woke up, feeling my lovely mono sickness clinging to me like a baby monkey. I was visiting Caleb's family for the week which I had spent in bed due to getting diagnosed with Mononucleosis basically right before boarding my plane to St. Louis on August 9, against my doctor's wishes.

The plan was to go to the Arb Family Farm in Northern Missouri for the weekend, August 17-19, boating Saturday. So as the day wore on, I felt better bit my bit. Did you know there's natural light outside the walls of a bedroom where I lay in bed for hours and hours? And other people too. Numbers that astound.

Caleb had an ADD moment. He and his brother Mike drove the boat into the water, and took longer than necessary to park the car with the trailer. Lo and behold we found Caleb had accidentally hit someone and put out their tail light. "Strange," thought I, in my lazy haze. That wasn't like Caleb. He said he was "talking to Mike, and got distracted." Still, not like Caleb. So he left a note on the car he had hit, with his cell number to call to deal with the damage. Interesting.

The day on the lake was beautiful, and I slept and lay on the boat all day. The most energy I had expounded in weeks. I'm so cool. By the time we got back to the house, I was a little dizzy, and really tired. So Caleb told me to take a shower. "There's stuff to wash your hair with in there."

Now friends. I'd been hopeful to call Caleb my Fiancé for a bit. I've known I want to marry him for some time, and I was hoping we'd get a ring on it while I was visiting this month. Then the mono happened. If we went into the old Egyptian pyramids and unwrapped those mummies... they'd probably be alive and have mono. In fact, I think the only thing wrong with Frankenstein is that he must have had mono, too for all those bumps on his neck. They were probably bulging lymph nodes. Very pretty.

When Caleb told me I could wash my hair... the slow truth descended on me. Telling me to wash my hair basically means "Shaina, take a shower, and then look terrible." My hair has a mind of its own. Possibly several minds of its own. And none of these minds think alike.

Caleb had told me he wanted to take me star gazing that Saturday night. My heart perked up. Maybe, just maybe... if I can just look good... it could happen!

But no. I had to wash my hair. So I did. And changed into jeans and normal looking shirt. But Caleb wouldn't have that either. "Shai, what are you wearing that for? Get into sweats and be comfy tonight you need to rest especially after being out all day for the first time in a while."

That was strike two and three. Strike one: have bad hair. Strike two: don't wear nice clothes. Strike three: you need to rest tonight.

So Caleb sent me to bed to sleep for two hours so that I might regain some energy and maybe if I felt up to it we could look at the stars later that night.  And I slept. Deep. Hard. And my goodness, not long enough. I heard steps coming down the stairs two hours later, and felt the light come on.

"Lord, please don't let it be 9 o'clock yet. I'm too tired to get up." My plan was to argue with Caleb that I should just sleep the rest of the night because I was just so exhausted. I did not want to get up. I was actually pretty ticked.

"Shaina, it's time to get up..." Maggie (mike's girlfriend) walked up to my bed. I rolled over and looked at her as she went on to say "Caleb has a special date planned for you and he says to wear your blue dress. Your straightener is plugged in in the bathroom, here are your shoes, and here is your sweater."All things Caleb had stolen and packed since I didn't. Of course I didn't. I didn't need them. Duh.

I touched my still damp hair. Maggie grabbed a hair dryer.

Inner musings: Could it be? Shaina. Do not get your hopes up. Caleb is the most romantic person alive, and would do something sweet and romantic just because, any day of the year. And I have mono... he probably wouldn't want anything special to happen if I were still sick.

I got dressed. I was moving slow.

I started on my hair, but apparently took too long and Maggie had to help me while I considered putting make up on. "Should I?" Maggie's face was so emotionless as she paused then said, "I would."

She wasn't giving me any information to work with... she's normally so easy to read. What. Is going. On.

While Maggie was out of the bathroom... I saw my camera in my bag. Dare I record this moment? What if he doesn't propose, and Maggie hears me documenting (talking to myself for all she knows) through the door, and thinks I'm experiencing mono in the mental... I decided I'd take a picture of my hair half straightened with a "um hi" face in the mirror. Documentation: accomplished.

When I finished, Maggie told me she would be taking me out to Caleb. I walked into the kitchen, hoping no one would see me. I didn't know what was happening and didn't really wanna be seen. Caleb's cousin Greg was sitting on the couch and asked me if I wanted a beer. Strange question to ask, but I laughed and said no. I walked out the door behind Mags, and Justin (Caleb's brother in law) snapped a huge flash of a picture as I walked out.

Ok. That was weird.

Inner Musing (IM): Shai. Do not think hard about this.

Then I saw Caleb's mom on a 4-wheeler that was all decorated with flowers. "Your chariot awaits," she said.

Ok. It's getting weirder.

IM: Do NOT think.

I think at that point I realized I'd hardly spoken at all in the last 30 minutes, and that it wasn't because I had nothing going on in my head. I was just afraid to speak. Afraid to breathe. I don't think I did breathe, actually. It's amazing I'm alive. This is the part of the story we all realize God must have been involved because I am alive and (getting) well this day.

As Mrs. Arb drove me on the 4-wheeler to the lake on the property, I saw all these lights and candles all around the boat dock. I asked her, "What's going on?" And her response matched Maggie's: "Caleb's got something special planned for you,"

Sticking to the same story. Very crafty.

IM: Mind stops working.

We pull up to the boat dock, and there are tiki torches and candles everywhere. Mrs. Arb instructed me to walk out on to the boat dock, and be careful about the drop off because the water was low.

I followed the deep red rose pedals out onto the dock lined with tea candles to this big heart made of rose pedals. I walked, and asked, "wait, is there more dock? I can't see guys..." I nearly walked into 8 feet of water (definitely NOT the drop off to which Mrs. Arb was referring), but just before I did, a spot light lit up the lake and I heard someone start playing the guitar. And then I heard Caleb start singing...

Please wait while I slowly untie my tongue tonight
I pray by some feeble attempt my words would tell you
What my heart has to say

'Cause you've always been right beside me for so many days
How could I be without you now

'Cause I am changed by you
The more I get to know you, the more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you
Please just say you love me, forever be whatever you need

And so if you're supposed to get what you deserve in life
And you came just in the nick of time, God's grace has overtaken me
My love needless to say I am blessed by you

'Cause you are the one
You are the one that I've been waiting for, I've been waiting for

And I am changed by you
The more I get to know you, the more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you
Please just say you love me, forever be whatever you need

You knock my fears away and reach inside me with your eyes
And light a burning fire and I cannot stop staring

And I am changed by you
The more I get to know you, the more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you
Please just say you love me, forever be whatever you need

Changed By You by Between the Trees. Our song.

On a canoe, slowly coming closer to me on the dock, Caleb sang and played for me. Caleb, not a singer and certainly not a music major at all... nothing could have been more brave... or beautiful. I heard his voice shake with nerves, and I hugged my arms to myself and searched for my locket. DRAT. I left it at Caleb's house. No need to bring it. I'd be on a boat or in bed the whole weekend.

IM: I need my locket!

Caleb got closer and closer to me, and finally got off the boat and stood on the dock with me.

He took my hands, and started saying words. 

Words. Words. What do they mean? What's happening? Why is that light so bright, and why is Caleb talking SO LOUD.

I thought Caleb was trying to lead me to stand in the rose pedal heart, but he stopped right before it, so I stopped trying to figure out what he wanted me to do, and paid him all my attention. He was so tense, and direct, and looking at me so intently, and so gently. 

He said a lot of things, but I remember these...

"On Valentine's Day, I wrote you 100 reasons why I love you. And everyday since, I've found another reason..." I think he said more things here, too... But then...

He reached into his pocket, and bent one knee... I realized I was blubbering at this point... 

I looked down at him, and he looked up at me and said, "Shaina, will you marry me?"

I cried and nodded yes, and then remembered to project the way he had been and said, "Yes!!" Out loud. 

And then we shared a hug, and a kiss... but there was something more in that kiss different than any other kiss. MONO. And THAT my friends, is how it's done. The love is true. 

Everyone started clapping and cheering, and Caleb turned me towards the lake where fireworks went off.

Caleb asked if I wanted to see the ring... The ring? Oh yes. That's part of this. 

OH MY GOSH IT IS GORGEOUS. It's perfect. It's better than I could have picked myself... 

Then, I don't know what came over me, but I slapped him on the chest because he had been confusing me for weeks. "I still need to talk to your dad...." "What's your ring size?" "I still need to get a ring..." "Why do you want to be engaged right now?" But then we hugged some more, and shared some more mono... I couldn't let go of him... 

Then out from the dark popped my best friends from college!!! Trina, my roommate from Greenville, and Blakeley, and Sarah who'd watched our entire story unfold from years ago (and she's newly engaged to Caleb's best friend... this is gonna be awesome)... and Caleb's entire family, his mom and dad (firework extraordinaire) , Mike and Maggie, and Nicole (his sister) and Justin, his Aunt Nancy and uncle and cousin... they'd all been in on it, and helping everything...

We took a ton of pictures and then I found that the entire shabang was video taped with multiple angles and with a mic!! Thanks to Devon and Ashley videographer extraordinaires!

And so yes... this was a long read. Thank you to all who read the whole thing...

The truth, though, is that this story is even longer. From the moment Caleb was born, and a year and a half later when I was born... our relationship has been bathed in prayer by our incredible parents and family.

From the first time I met Caleb (first guy I met at Greenville!) and noticed he had a cool piercing on the top of his ear like my brother Zach, to when Caleb just regarded me as the creepy smart girl two years ahead in college, God was shaping us toward Himself and toward each other.

From the time I realized I was disappointed when Caleb missed half of my presentation in COR 302 the end of our Junior year, to the first time Caleb asked me to study with him in the library.


From the first time Caleb wrote on my wall, to the time I took a chance with Trina besides me late in our dorm, and chatted Caleb  on facebook even though he never answered.

From the time Caleb walked into the Blackroom when I was performing a song with Zach that I wrote about Caleb, to the victory afterwards when he asked me to study with him that night.


From the time I screamed at myself mentally "Keep it together man!" (from Spongebob) when Caleb made me laugh so hard when we were "studying," to when I noticed he stared at a picture of the two of us a little longer than necessary right after New Years when he didn't know I was watching him.


From the time we hit the rail going 77 mph on I-70, to the moment I realized I'd be ok because Caleb had me in his arms.


From the first time Caleb and I skyped while he was in China, and I didn't even realize I didn't care that it was 3 am and I was losing sleep, to when my students noticed years later "Something is wrong with Ms. Williams. She's smiling and she never wears those pants." for the same lack of sleep reasons.

From the time I asked Caleb to be my date to the Jr/Sr because I didn't wanna go with some guy I had to impress, to when he strategically let me "fall asleep" on his shoulder on the way home while he "fell asleep" leaning on my head even though we were both awake.

 From the time Caleb ticked me off  and inspired me to write "Too Much," to the time I wrote a song called "Meet Me at My Door," three days before he surprised me and actually did meet me at my door and asked me to be his girlfriend 2 years after library study dates and never having heard the song.

From the time Caleb told me he loved me for the first time in Meramec Caverns, to the moment he put a diamond on my finger that was found in the Meramec River...

God was bringing us to today, to each other. And now to our wedding day, and the rest of our lives together. I'm so in love... I'm so overwhelmed... I'm about to join a family that couldn't be more wonderful, more Godly, more beautiful, loving, hilarious, perfect... 

I will end this blog with this: realities rush... it's almost too much for me... I am so blessed. So, so blessed.