Four

Now, to continue on...

By this point in the story, I am gung ho about Caleb Arb. I began to notice when he went to the DC and when walked to class at the same time I did.

DISCLAIMER: I was NOT a stalker. Greenville is small. And we had many mutual friends. 

I walked to class one day in my Red Capulet sweatshirt, the hood over my head. It was raining, and I rolled up my jeans so they didn't get soaked under the flip flops. I looked up, and saw Caleb on his way to an early morning class as well. I waved, probably too excitedly. Whatever. I'm a goof.

We had another Library Study (date). It was Thursday, May 13th.

This time, I could not contain myself.

The flirting was natural. It felt amazing. I could not get enough of this guy. It was just so easy. We studied for an exam that night.  He told me he learns best when people quiz him. So I quizzed him. We got along so well... I couldn't stand it... I loved being with him.

We goofed off, and teased each other, all the while actually accomplishing a good amount of studying. Who does that!? This was rarer than a blue moon. I... was happy. Recall my nerd tendencies...

Caleb would put on Paramore and "Airplanes" because he knew I loved it. We'd bop our heads ever so slightly.

Later that Thursday night, Caleb and I decided we'd meet up at go to Vespers (the awesome student-led chapel) together.

I went back to my dorm, and went to Vespers. I didn't text him, I just went. I figured I'd see him there, and we'd sit together. Couldn't be too eager.

But I didn't see him. So I sat by myself towards the back.

Sometimes that's just nice.

So worship started. I didn't know where Caleb was, but I didn't mind. The small part of me that was sad I hadn't seen him was overpowered by a desire to seem cool.

Excited to see you?! Noooooo. I'm more mature than that.

But in all seriousness. I was happy to take a moment to myself, and not obsess over anything or anyone.

I had my eyes closed at some point. And then they opened. And there was Caleb. Next to me. With his eyes closed. And his hands raised.

This moment is so clear in my mind...

I took in the vision of him, without him knowing.

 I closed my eyes again, and kept singing.

It was so easy to be next to him in worship. It could sound corny, and maybe my Pastor's daughter side is showing... but that's so precious to me... I can't even explain it.

Studying with him and being successful: phenomenal. Being able to worship besides someone without being self conscious or uncomfortable: a speechless kind of awesome. Something I hadn't exactly experienced very much.

When worship was over, Caleb and I looked at each other. It was such a striking moment. Nearly paralyzing. I remember feeling something towards him... such a stirring in my heart. I just loved being next to him.

The moment passed, and we sat down.

All through Vespers, it was so comfortable. We'd whisper thoughts here and there during the message.

A closing song began...

Caleb is no singer... but I liked hearing him sing.

Caleb had spoken at Vespers a few months before. I was sick. And opted not to go. At that moment I wished I had seen him speak. He must have been so good...

After Vespers, I borrowed Caleb's article to write a summary on. I met him between our dorms as it rained lightly... He hugged me and said "Have a good night,"

I loved it.

When I got inside, I wrote in my journal. Wouldn't you like to know what I wrote...