Alright. I'm guilty. I said I was going to bed, and I am awake. At the very least I can say I'm sitting on my bed. That's gotta count for something.
So... I was going to go to bed after I read my Bible, but I just felt flooded with some stuff I just read. My plan was three chapters, because that's what's on the reading plan I sometimes follow when I feel like I can be receptive enough. However, I stopped after reading only one. I had enough to chew on. So i'm gonna chew some more and write about it.
I just read chapter 16 in Exodus. I know I just blogged about Exodus last week too. Like I said, I don't always follow my reading plan everyday... it really depends on what I feel like I need to read, or if I even have the right mind for reading what's on the plate for a certain day.
So in chapter 16, God gives the Israelites manna from heaven to eat in the morning, and quail at night . I love verse 15 when the Israelites first saw the manna...
"When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was."
They went to Moses and asked him for an explanation, to which he replied that it was bread that the Lord had given them to eat. He then given further instructions to "take an omer for each person to eat," which was around 4 quarts. I have to say, I was kind of stilled as I read these words... I've read these words before, but like I said before... God just keeps opening my eyes to things I never noticed before about the same passages i've read and heard too many times to remember.
Verse 18 says, "And when they measured it by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed."
God also gave the people very specific instructions. They were not to keep the manna until the next morning. But they didn't always listen and obey. Like verse 20 says...
"However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them."
However, God told Moses that the people were to gather twice as much Manna on the 6th day, in order that they may rest on the 7th day, the day of rest. Like verse 24...
"So they saved it until morning, as Moses commanded, and it did not stink or get maggots in it."
And man oh man are we stupid... verse 27...
"Nevertheless, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they found none."
Poor kids...
Anyway, the parallels I kept seeing God show me through these verses made me very still, and also made me feel like a child being slapped with a foam noodle in a pool.
I mentioned a few days ago how I've just noticed how God has sort of taken me by surprise with a few things. Yes, I'm being a little vague, but work with me here. God gives me new things, and sometimes I have those new things for a while, and other times they're only in my hands for a matter of hours. He takes me on adventures that I could never prepare for, because I had no warning. And then, there are also the times when I have what feels like altogether too much time to prepare for things.
As I read Exodus 16, I saw some things similar to my own life. I think it's hilarious that they called it "manna" because the people didn't know what it was. And so does God give me bread everyday... and so often I respond with, "What is it?" I don't always recognize His providing Hand in my life. Goodness, God must slap his hand over his face and say, "How many times do you have to ask me before you accept something I give you?!"
Then as I kept reading, I found it absolutely stilling that God had His hand upon everyone getting exactly what they needed, as verse 18 says. How beautiful is that... "he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little" They were each perfectly provided for. That is so beautiful. I can just see that as a perfect story of God saying, "Oh no you don't little one," to a child trying to gather his manna for the day and beginning to give up. Just then there would be a pile of exactly what he needed. Like God was saying, "You will not go empty handed My child."
No one had too much, and no one had too little. That's beautiful.
And here we go... another parallel in my own life. When the people tried to keep the manna until the next morning, there were maggots in it. SICK. Man, if I did that once, I would not do it again. That would terrify me. I'd be scared to eat it ever again even when it was fresh and good. Anyway, God gives us many gifts. He gives us new seasons of life, and gives them to us for very specific times. Our God is not a sluggish God who uses an egg timer whenever he feels like it. He is a God of order. He gives specific instructions.
In my life, after I understand and don't have to ask, "what is it?" anymore, sometimes I get really excited for the things God gives me. I get comfortable. I start to try to make good use out of what He's giving me. Just like the Israelites. They were only trying to be proactive. They were only trying to make the best use out of what they were given. Think about it... they tried to save some of what they gathered. It was food! It was good! They didn't have very much. They tried to save. But God told them he would provide everyday. He would give them manna everyday. When they tried to save their manna till the next morning... they were taking matters into their own hands. They weren't trusting. They may have had good intentions, but it was out of lack of trust in the Lord.
Ok... so I do this a lot too. God tells me He will provide for me. He will lead me. He will not forsake me. He will guide me. So when I get really used to His manna in my life, sometimes I take the "what is it" and turn it into my version of, "this is what it is," And I bring it back to God and try to reshape it. I try to save it till morning. But every day His mercies are new. When I try to plan every moment of my life off of living in the midst of ONE season of my life, it's just not gonna work. No dice man, no dice.
And so the Israelites were given some more instructions. They were told to gather manna for the 7th day on the 6th day. The people might have responded to that by saying, "OK Lord, so we can't save our food any other day, but we can today? Real crafty, God, real crafty!" So when the people tried to save the manna for the 7th day, it did not smell, and there were no maggots. If I were them, i'd be afraid to keep it. I would not want those stinking maggots in my bread! I'd probably go out on the 7th day and try to gather my manna just to be on the safe side. But the Israelites who did that found nothing.
Man... when God speaks... He means what He means.
And so my conclusion is this. God gives. And when He gives, He gives with a purpose. And when we don't receive what He gives, we hurt ourselves. When we do, we are blessed. And that is how it is. And I'm pretty sure saying that won't give me maggots. Good night!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Some thoughts on worship
Hello loved ones:)
OK, so tonight I started my online worship class for Greenville.
One of the things I just wrote a response on, was different worship styles. I had to watch a number of videos of worship songs at different churches, observing the "effectiveness" and "genuineness" of the different worship "situations." Wow that was a lot of quotations... anyway, I could go on and on but the bottom line I always get to is this: worship is worship, no matter how in the world it is carried out. I highly doubt anyone in the states would feel completely at home around a bonfire in Africa with half clothed people dancing and wailing. But hey... that can just as easily be worship to those people as sitting in wooden pews was for my dad's parents.
Worship is highly influenced by culture. It is highly influenced by standard comfort zones of the people that make up a specific church. Each church's culture is a little bit different. For example, today in my church, there was a woman behind me who was dancing and taking up the space behind the last row of the overflow section. That would be ridiculous in a Baptist church in my area where it's much quieter and more conservative. Does that mean that the woman's dancing was not a fragrant and pleasing offering to the Lord? Heck no! The culture is different in different churches. Different denominations stress and emphasize different aspects of doctrine and teachings. Those things are boldly evident in certain worship styles. I know some churches who are quite selective in the songs they use for worship. Some churches do not use the word "I" or any first person pronouns in their worship. They seek to draw as little attention to "self" as possible. That reflects some of their doctrine.
I honestly don't have one specific point that I'm seeking to bring home... I'm just thinking and going over a bundle of thoughts as they come. I learned so much from my Intro to Worship class last semester I can hardly contain it all. It overflows and bubbles out of me. I have answers for so many questions I used to ask. I know what I'd say when questioned about people being "showy" in worship. I know how to respond better in situations where I'm the one who's rather uncomfortable in an unfamiliar worship setting.
It's so good to be knowledgeable about the history of worship. I love that I can draw conclusions now about worship because I know where the ideas evolved from.
Dr. Hartley taught my Intro class, and he is honestly one of my absolute favorite professors I've ever had. He's so intelligent, and still entirely open and receptive to our lowly states as college kids;) He had use memorize hundreds of terms I had never heard before from all of the different denominations and ways of worship. We read a number of books on the history of worship. I simply love being a music major. While I was taking Intro, I was learning a lot of old songs that were in the church in the Middle Ages and such, that were long ago banned from the church. The church used to prohibit music within the walls of the church. Crazy, right?
Well, worship has taken several different shapes and forms. And what a blessing and incredible gift to have been given the opportunity to even worship the God of all. I love using music to praise Him.
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now I think. many thanks to anyone who read this... I've been doing a lot of journal-like entries lately... good night world:)
OK, so tonight I started my online worship class for Greenville.
One of the things I just wrote a response on, was different worship styles. I had to watch a number of videos of worship songs at different churches, observing the "effectiveness" and "genuineness" of the different worship "situations." Wow that was a lot of quotations... anyway, I could go on and on but the bottom line I always get to is this: worship is worship, no matter how in the world it is carried out. I highly doubt anyone in the states would feel completely at home around a bonfire in Africa with half clothed people dancing and wailing. But hey... that can just as easily be worship to those people as sitting in wooden pews was for my dad's parents.
Worship is highly influenced by culture. It is highly influenced by standard comfort zones of the people that make up a specific church. Each church's culture is a little bit different. For example, today in my church, there was a woman behind me who was dancing and taking up the space behind the last row of the overflow section. That would be ridiculous in a Baptist church in my area where it's much quieter and more conservative. Does that mean that the woman's dancing was not a fragrant and pleasing offering to the Lord? Heck no! The culture is different in different churches. Different denominations stress and emphasize different aspects of doctrine and teachings. Those things are boldly evident in certain worship styles. I know some churches who are quite selective in the songs they use for worship. Some churches do not use the word "I" or any first person pronouns in their worship. They seek to draw as little attention to "self" as possible. That reflects some of their doctrine.
I honestly don't have one specific point that I'm seeking to bring home... I'm just thinking and going over a bundle of thoughts as they come. I learned so much from my Intro to Worship class last semester I can hardly contain it all. It overflows and bubbles out of me. I have answers for so many questions I used to ask. I know what I'd say when questioned about people being "showy" in worship. I know how to respond better in situations where I'm the one who's rather uncomfortable in an unfamiliar worship setting.
It's so good to be knowledgeable about the history of worship. I love that I can draw conclusions now about worship because I know where the ideas evolved from.
Dr. Hartley taught my Intro class, and he is honestly one of my absolute favorite professors I've ever had. He's so intelligent, and still entirely open and receptive to our lowly states as college kids;) He had use memorize hundreds of terms I had never heard before from all of the different denominations and ways of worship. We read a number of books on the history of worship. I simply love being a music major. While I was taking Intro, I was learning a lot of old songs that were in the church in the Middle Ages and such, that were long ago banned from the church. The church used to prohibit music within the walls of the church. Crazy, right?
Well, worship has taken several different shapes and forms. And what a blessing and incredible gift to have been given the opportunity to even worship the God of all. I love using music to praise Him.
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now I think. many thanks to anyone who read this... I've been doing a lot of journal-like entries lately... good night world:)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Pass it down the line honey
Just gonna spill some thoughts before I head out tonight...
I've just been thinking about how I try to plan my life. I am a planner. I take things as they come, but try to work with each item God gives me. Like I'm in an assembly line with all of Creation, one thing handed to me at a time.I try not to go so fast that I hardly realize the things being passed to my hands and onto the next pair awaiting. I try to make use of everything. I like to think I'm making the most of things that way. But God doesn't always play by my rules, even when I think I'm playing by His.
It's quite uncomfortable when I feel like I've gotten the hang of cherishing moments God places in my hands, and then he gives me a new way.
I feel like God makes me do back flips when He just taught me how to do front flips. I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. I had only just gotten used to the old ways. My response is usually something like,
"God, if I do that, I'll crack my jaw."
And he's like,
"If you don't pay attention you'll crack your back."
Usually shuts me up...
And so, in the assembly line of life, I feel like every set of new things God teaches me, are only for a time... He's gonna keep on passing things down the line.
And so that's my thought for tonight.
I've just been thinking about how I try to plan my life. I am a planner. I take things as they come, but try to work with each item God gives me. Like I'm in an assembly line with all of Creation, one thing handed to me at a time.I try not to go so fast that I hardly realize the things being passed to my hands and onto the next pair awaiting. I try to make use of everything. I like to think I'm making the most of things that way. But God doesn't always play by my rules, even when I think I'm playing by His.
It's quite uncomfortable when I feel like I've gotten the hang of cherishing moments God places in my hands, and then he gives me a new way.
I feel like God makes me do back flips when He just taught me how to do front flips. I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. I had only just gotten used to the old ways. My response is usually something like,
"God, if I do that, I'll crack my jaw."
And he's like,
"If you don't pay attention you'll crack your back."
Usually shuts me up...
And so, in the assembly line of life, I feel like every set of new things God teaches me, are only for a time... He's gonna keep on passing things down the line.
And so that's my thought for tonight.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A date with an olive
In a matter of minutes, my sister Caleigh and Sophia will be home once again! After nine days in Haiti, we're all so excited to see them. I grew accustomed again to having Cal around since I've been home for the summer. I learned how to call her a lot while I was away, but it got to be natural and easy to be together all the time. I have missed her so much. Sophia too.
I can't wait to hear all about their trip. We've all been praying so much for them, and I know God is only beginning work in them as they went on this mission trip. I wish I could have gone. Some time soon, I will go to Haiti.
My family is so precious to me. Last night I took Olivia on a Twin Date. In my family, the line up is: boy, girl, girl girl, boy, girl girl, girl. And it's literally like the same set of kids reduplicated. The second set looks like the first set. The line up of Zach, me, Cal, Soph, Nate, Liv, Lena and Meli..... Zach and Nate don't look too much alike, but Live and I do, Lena and Cal do, and Soph and Meli do. It's actually hilarious.
So the younger kids take pride in their grown up images, and they're our "family partners." In crowds, we have a buddy to look out for. Liv is my look-alike, so I have her. Same for Caleigh and Lena, and Sophia and Melodi. And Zach and Nate are just the only boys so they naturally embrace their manhood together.
Last night I had such a good time with Liv. She's a complete nut. I remember being a lot like her. Stubborn and basically crazy. She got ice cream everywhere. I'm not sure how. I accidentally flung some of it down her shirt as I used a spoon to try to carve the melting mess cleaner... instead it went down her shirt... I said I was sorry in the midst of our shared obnoxious laughter. She's growing up. It's a little frightening. I forgot when I grow a day older, she does the same.
We had fun taking pictures as the sun was setting behind us. The self timer was a little wacky but we eventually got some fun shots.
Definitely could have zoomed in some.... but I still love this picture.
I kept making my little Olive sister wash up in the lake after she was coated in chocolate ice cream, and soon she asked me if it was alright to just go all the way in. I told her she could. I stayed out and took pictures of her as she swam around. There were a few other people in the water, but she didn't need anyone else to be entertained. She did flips for me as I sat by the water and watched her. She's a total fish. You'd think her ribs are gills.
Anyway... time to get ready to welcome two other sisters back into Williamsville!
I can't wait to hear all about their trip. We've all been praying so much for them, and I know God is only beginning work in them as they went on this mission trip. I wish I could have gone. Some time soon, I will go to Haiti.
My family is so precious to me. Last night I took Olivia on a Twin Date. In my family, the line up is: boy, girl, girl girl, boy, girl girl, girl. And it's literally like the same set of kids reduplicated. The second set looks like the first set. The line up of Zach, me, Cal, Soph, Nate, Liv, Lena and Meli..... Zach and Nate don't look too much alike, but Live and I do, Lena and Cal do, and Soph and Meli do. It's actually hilarious.
So the younger kids take pride in their grown up images, and they're our "family partners." In crowds, we have a buddy to look out for. Liv is my look-alike, so I have her. Same for Caleigh and Lena, and Sophia and Melodi. And Zach and Nate are just the only boys so they naturally embrace their manhood together.
Last night I had such a good time with Liv. She's a complete nut. I remember being a lot like her. Stubborn and basically crazy. She got ice cream everywhere. I'm not sure how. I accidentally flung some of it down her shirt as I used a spoon to try to carve the melting mess cleaner... instead it went down her shirt... I said I was sorry in the midst of our shared obnoxious laughter. She's growing up. It's a little frightening. I forgot when I grow a day older, she does the same.
We had fun taking pictures as the sun was setting behind us. The self timer was a little wacky but we eventually got some fun shots.
Definitely could have zoomed in some.... but I still love this picture.
I kept making my little Olive sister wash up in the lake after she was coated in chocolate ice cream, and soon she asked me if it was alright to just go all the way in. I told her she could. I stayed out and took pictures of her as she swam around. There were a few other people in the water, but she didn't need anyone else to be entertained. She did flips for me as I sat by the water and watched her. She's a total fish. You'd think her ribs are gills.
Anyway... time to get ready to welcome two other sisters back into Williamsville!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Flawless Fruit
As I sit here, Nathan, Melodi and I are dining on steamy popcorn. Their request for this morning as I babysit. The rain is collecting in miniature pools outside, and going for free falls off the umbrella on the porch. My sweatpants are on, which ensures a wonderful morning. I already had my coconut for the day, and so the day is already well.
Lately I've felt more inspired than usual. Which is odd, considering I have sort of been slacking with my blogging. I usually can't keep myself from writing. And it's not that I don't know what to write. It's more due to the fact that I don't know what to say, or where to start. It's kind of really nice.
I suppose I can admit I didn't have the highest expectations for this summer. I didn't know what to expect. I've gone through a number of changes in the past year or so. I became perfectly satisfied with my life at Greenville, to the point that I didn't know what to do being somewhere else for an extended period of time. I'm all about change. I like adventure. I am fully capable of embracing change. It's exciting. It feels like swallowing cold water first thing in the morning. I enjoy it. It feels good. It's energizing. But when it's a mystery what you're swallowing... it's a little harder to stomach what you're unsure of.
This summer has proven to be surprising. I never expected to hate it by any means... I guess I assumed I'd float through it in some ways, which is basically completely lame. But I've met new people that have richly blessed my life. It's kind of funny to think how meeting people is not something I plan on doing. I never thought at the beginning of the summer, "I can't wait to meet people!" It's home. I already know people here. I don't anticipate meeting new people. It's a funny concept. If I know people already, who else could there be? This summer I have met a lot of new people that I hope I always know. I've gotten to watch a few of my best friends fall in love, and watch some pretty lucky guys fall in love with them in return. I've gotten to train a lot earlier in the summer than I did last year. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my parents this summer. I feel like I know my parents better than I ever have before. My younger siblings and cousins are growing up. It's freaky. But I've gotten to spend more time with them, and get to know them. They have stories to tell. It's awesome.
I love being around people that bring out great things in me. Where it's completely comfortable, and open for me to be exactly who I am, and space for me to be who I'm becoming. It's refreshing. Calming. It's beautiful.
Being around these kinds of people is like the difference between how you feel after you eat super sugary candy, and fresh fruit. Besides obvious differences, they're both sweet. They can satisfy a sweet tooth. But afterwards... the aftermath is much different I dare say. The way I feel when I'm with these people is comparable to how I feel after eating perfect, ripe, and satisfying fruit as opposed to downing a bunch of crap. I'm obviously not in the most poetic of moods. It's not my concern. I just know I need to sit myself down and write.
I feel refreshed. I feel the Lord speaking to me. I can see His hand in my life. I can see Him leading me, and challenging me so that the times I feel in control and sturdy, he knocks me off my feet. But I'm learning to laugh at His antics and take hold of joy when I fall on my crooked back. Yes. I miss my chiropractor in Greenville.
And so, this morning, I am a very thankful person. I am so happy. Life is so good. It's confusing and ridiculous, and absolutely hysterical at times. It makes no sense much of the time. Which makes for a good time. And so, as I close this journal-like blog, I feel like I just finished a perfect plate of flawless fruit. It's good.
Lately I've felt more inspired than usual. Which is odd, considering I have sort of been slacking with my blogging. I usually can't keep myself from writing. And it's not that I don't know what to write. It's more due to the fact that I don't know what to say, or where to start. It's kind of really nice.
I suppose I can admit I didn't have the highest expectations for this summer. I didn't know what to expect. I've gone through a number of changes in the past year or so. I became perfectly satisfied with my life at Greenville, to the point that I didn't know what to do being somewhere else for an extended period of time. I'm all about change. I like adventure. I am fully capable of embracing change. It's exciting. It feels like swallowing cold water first thing in the morning. I enjoy it. It feels good. It's energizing. But when it's a mystery what you're swallowing... it's a little harder to stomach what you're unsure of.
This summer has proven to be surprising. I never expected to hate it by any means... I guess I assumed I'd float through it in some ways, which is basically completely lame. But I've met new people that have richly blessed my life. It's kind of funny to think how meeting people is not something I plan on doing. I never thought at the beginning of the summer, "I can't wait to meet people!" It's home. I already know people here. I don't anticipate meeting new people. It's a funny concept. If I know people already, who else could there be? This summer I have met a lot of new people that I hope I always know. I've gotten to watch a few of my best friends fall in love, and watch some pretty lucky guys fall in love with them in return. I've gotten to train a lot earlier in the summer than I did last year. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my parents this summer. I feel like I know my parents better than I ever have before. My younger siblings and cousins are growing up. It's freaky. But I've gotten to spend more time with them, and get to know them. They have stories to tell. It's awesome.
I love being around people that bring out great things in me. Where it's completely comfortable, and open for me to be exactly who I am, and space for me to be who I'm becoming. It's refreshing. Calming. It's beautiful.
Being around these kinds of people is like the difference between how you feel after you eat super sugary candy, and fresh fruit. Besides obvious differences, they're both sweet. They can satisfy a sweet tooth. But afterwards... the aftermath is much different I dare say. The way I feel when I'm with these people is comparable to how I feel after eating perfect, ripe, and satisfying fruit as opposed to downing a bunch of crap. I'm obviously not in the most poetic of moods. It's not my concern. I just know I need to sit myself down and write.
I feel refreshed. I feel the Lord speaking to me. I can see His hand in my life. I can see Him leading me, and challenging me so that the times I feel in control and sturdy, he knocks me off my feet. But I'm learning to laugh at His antics and take hold of joy when I fall on my crooked back. Yes. I miss my chiropractor in Greenville.
And so, this morning, I am a very thankful person. I am so happy. Life is so good. It's confusing and ridiculous, and absolutely hysterical at times. It makes no sense much of the time. Which makes for a good time. And so, as I close this journal-like blog, I feel like I just finished a perfect plate of flawless fruit. It's good.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
For such times as these
Today while I was teaching Latin, I had the best moment. I drove over to the house, and parked my truck. Walked up to the door, and little Caroline opened the door for me. I set my stuff up, and Arthur Lee (they're the cutest southern family ever) got his notebook out, and searched for a pencil.
His mom came and sat down as I worked on the dry erase board. I started my lecture on discussing the differences between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. I asked Arthur Lee to give me a sentence in 1st person, and in 3rd person, leaving 2nd person for last. I was about to launch into Imperatives, which require a drum roll for 2nd person.
And so I gave an example of 2nd person for him.
"You are wearing a white shirt." I told him. Bam. 2nd person is "who you're talking to." I was probably boring the poor 8-year-old to death.
I turned towards him, the orange marker in my hands, and told him, "Now your turn. Give me a sentence in 2nd person."
He looked at me. His usual 8-year-old boy squirming stopped for a second as he said, "You, are very pretty."
His mom gave a laugh, as did I as I said that was the sweetest thing ever... and then went back into my lecture.
I might have just gone right back into teaching. I might have gone back into saying over and over again, "First person is who is speaking, 2nd person is who you're talking to, and 3rd person is who you're talking about." Blah blah blah.... but it was one of the finest moment in my teaching experience. I teach, for such times as this. It made my day. It was so so adorable.
His mom came and sat down as I worked on the dry erase board. I started my lecture on discussing the differences between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. I asked Arthur Lee to give me a sentence in 1st person, and in 3rd person, leaving 2nd person for last. I was about to launch into Imperatives, which require a drum roll for 2nd person.
And so I gave an example of 2nd person for him.
"You are wearing a white shirt." I told him. Bam. 2nd person is "who you're talking to." I was probably boring the poor 8-year-old to death.
I turned towards him, the orange marker in my hands, and told him, "Now your turn. Give me a sentence in 2nd person."
He looked at me. His usual 8-year-old boy squirming stopped for a second as he said, "You, are very pretty."
His mom gave a laugh, as did I as I said that was the sweetest thing ever... and then went back into my lecture.
I might have just gone right back into teaching. I might have gone back into saying over and over again, "First person is who is speaking, 2nd person is who you're talking to, and 3rd person is who you're talking about." Blah blah blah.... but it was one of the finest moment in my teaching experience. I teach, for such times as this. It made my day. It was so so adorable.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wanna trade?
So I feel like I'm always saying I'm reading through Exodus in the Bible... I guess I just love that book. I just always find so much in it... like I could never read it enough times and get everything out of it. Like a soaked rag... I could squeeze and twist it till I can get not another drop to run off of it... but it's still wet. And so, this is another wring through of this book...
I am always stumped at Pharaoh's stubbornness. So many times I just think, "Dang dude... let the freakin' people go!" Hah... as if I don't know how the story goes... anyway, this time I was struck. Basically I'm just like him. For the first time I realized how similar I am to Pharaoh. He tried so hard to maneuver his way around what God was really asking from him. How many times Moses told him what God was asking... and Pharaoh wouldn't listen. His heart was hard. He knew what God was asking. For the Hebrew men and women and children to be set free. After the plagues of blood, frogs, gnats, flies, the plague on livestock, boils, and hail, Pharaoh starts to maybe possible soften... and he says the men can go.
Exodus 10:11 says, "No! Have only the men go; and worship the Lord, since that's what you have been asking for."And then Moses and Aaron were driven out of Pharaoh's presence.
Bam. That's when the Lord sent the plague of locust. That was not what the Lord asked for. He didn't say, "let my people... as in only the men...go." No. He said all of them.
Holy crap, don't I do that all the time? I settle for only letting the men go when God tells me to let all of His people go.
That was a weird way to put it... anyway, the point is, when God tells me clearly, "Shaina Joy, love that person." And what do I do? I might smile at that person once or twice. Ahhh the job is done! On to the rest of my life. Right? Sonofuhgun! No! That's not it! That's not what He told me.
When he asked me for my life, I say, "Ok, here you go Lord. Do what you will." And yet, I don't let all of His people go. He is constantly asking for everything.
God commanded Pharaoh to let His people go. It's such a common phrase... even to the unchurched. "Let my people go." We know the story even if we didn't grow up in a home where the Bible is practically another person living in the house with the rest of the family.
Well, in my life... how many phrases are used over and over again just like, "Let my people go"? A whole great too many.
"Shaina Joy, let your bitterness go." And I fool myself into thinking I'm letting my bitterness go by changing one word or action for a moment.
"Shaina Joy, let your jealousy go." And I convince myself I'm wrung out when I only twisted the soaking rag once.
"Shai, let your anxiety go." And for some reason I expect painting my toe nails to be the spiritual act of releasing anxiety.
"Shaina. Let your pain go." And I just write a song about the pain instead.
So many things He's told me to let go. And yet I only get the half of it. If that. I do something about what He's telling me... but I don't do WHAT he's telling me.
The point I'm getting at, is God still sent the plague. He sent the locust. Immediately. God didn't say, "Oh, good one Pharaoh! I'll take that!" As if they were trading silly bands...
Hah... yes I did just use silly bands as an illustration. But seriously... what is it with those things? I have one on my wrist right now. As I teach my countless students through the week under the age of 10, not a class goes by without one of them asking what my silly band is. They'll ask me, "Wanna trade?"
I'll be writing on my dry erase board with my students behind me, and turn around to find one of them putting a silly band on the other's wrist. They attempt trading in the middle of conjugating moneo in Present Active Indicative... I advise them to pay attention... (haha... i'm a nerd. Those of you who know Latin know I just translated that word into this sentence. And it makes me so happy indeed) but they get so excited about trading silly bands.
A few times I've seen some kids in the midst of their trading and someone spots a silly band they just have to have. The opponent reacts defensively... that silly band is their favorite. They negotiate. Maybe they'll get four silly bands for that one silly band. An even exchange. They really value that one!
I find myself the child with the silly bands quite often... metaphorically. I'm sticking to my story that I only have one, and it's from my sister Liv, and I wouldn't trade it even if you offered me four:) Anyway, when God tells me he wants one of my silly bands, I try to negotiate with Him.
"I'll give you this one instead."
And He sticks to His story, and tells me the one He wants.
"I'll give you four instead. This one's cool. It's a dinosaur. You'll like it."
I expect God to be pleased with me when I avoid the bottom line. I expect Him to think I'm doing what He asked.
Well, Pharaoh never got away with it. So far I haven't gotten any locust plagues... but how is what I do every day something different?
Something I've learned of God especially in the past few months is He is the ultimate pursuer. When I ache to be pursued in this world I don't always remember how much I'm already being pursued. And He is constantly pursuing me to let more and more go, and to give myself more and more completely to Him.
The things I can never keep in my head... is that when we're "trading silly bands" with God, we ALWAYS get the better half of the deal. When he asks for one of ours, he gives us more than can even fit on our wrists. And then we look like several of my students who can hardly bend their elbows because they have so many.
So, I'm preaching to myself. That's all I got right now.
I am always stumped at Pharaoh's stubbornness. So many times I just think, "Dang dude... let the freakin' people go!" Hah... as if I don't know how the story goes... anyway, this time I was struck. Basically I'm just like him. For the first time I realized how similar I am to Pharaoh. He tried so hard to maneuver his way around what God was really asking from him. How many times Moses told him what God was asking... and Pharaoh wouldn't listen. His heart was hard. He knew what God was asking. For the Hebrew men and women and children to be set free. After the plagues of blood, frogs, gnats, flies, the plague on livestock, boils, and hail, Pharaoh starts to maybe possible soften... and he says the men can go.
Exodus 10:11 says, "No! Have only the men go; and worship the Lord, since that's what you have been asking for."And then Moses and Aaron were driven out of Pharaoh's presence.
Bam. That's when the Lord sent the plague of locust. That was not what the Lord asked for. He didn't say, "let my people... as in only the men...go." No. He said all of them.
Holy crap, don't I do that all the time? I settle for only letting the men go when God tells me to let all of His people go.
That was a weird way to put it... anyway, the point is, when God tells me clearly, "Shaina Joy, love that person." And what do I do? I might smile at that person once or twice. Ahhh the job is done! On to the rest of my life. Right? Sonofuhgun! No! That's not it! That's not what He told me.
When he asked me for my life, I say, "Ok, here you go Lord. Do what you will." And yet, I don't let all of His people go. He is constantly asking for everything.
God commanded Pharaoh to let His people go. It's such a common phrase... even to the unchurched. "Let my people go." We know the story even if we didn't grow up in a home where the Bible is practically another person living in the house with the rest of the family.
Well, in my life... how many phrases are used over and over again just like, "Let my people go"? A whole great too many.
"Shaina Joy, let your bitterness go." And I fool myself into thinking I'm letting my bitterness go by changing one word or action for a moment.
"Shaina Joy, let your jealousy go." And I convince myself I'm wrung out when I only twisted the soaking rag once.
"Shai, let your anxiety go." And for some reason I expect painting my toe nails to be the spiritual act of releasing anxiety.
"Shaina. Let your pain go." And I just write a song about the pain instead.
So many things He's told me to let go. And yet I only get the half of it. If that. I do something about what He's telling me... but I don't do WHAT he's telling me.
The point I'm getting at, is God still sent the plague. He sent the locust. Immediately. God didn't say, "Oh, good one Pharaoh! I'll take that!" As if they were trading silly bands...
Hah... yes I did just use silly bands as an illustration. But seriously... what is it with those things? I have one on my wrist right now. As I teach my countless students through the week under the age of 10, not a class goes by without one of them asking what my silly band is. They'll ask me, "Wanna trade?"
I'll be writing on my dry erase board with my students behind me, and turn around to find one of them putting a silly band on the other's wrist. They attempt trading in the middle of conjugating moneo in Present Active Indicative... I advise them to pay attention... (haha... i'm a nerd. Those of you who know Latin know I just translated that word into this sentence. And it makes me so happy indeed) but they get so excited about trading silly bands.
A few times I've seen some kids in the midst of their trading and someone spots a silly band they just have to have. The opponent reacts defensively... that silly band is their favorite. They negotiate. Maybe they'll get four silly bands for that one silly band. An even exchange. They really value that one!
I find myself the child with the silly bands quite often... metaphorically. I'm sticking to my story that I only have one, and it's from my sister Liv, and I wouldn't trade it even if you offered me four:) Anyway, when God tells me he wants one of my silly bands, I try to negotiate with Him.
"I'll give you this one instead."
And He sticks to His story, and tells me the one He wants.
"I'll give you four instead. This one's cool. It's a dinosaur. You'll like it."
I expect God to be pleased with me when I avoid the bottom line. I expect Him to think I'm doing what He asked.
Well, Pharaoh never got away with it. So far I haven't gotten any locust plagues... but how is what I do every day something different?
Something I've learned of God especially in the past few months is He is the ultimate pursuer. When I ache to be pursued in this world I don't always remember how much I'm already being pursued. And He is constantly pursuing me to let more and more go, and to give myself more and more completely to Him.
The things I can never keep in my head... is that when we're "trading silly bands" with God, we ALWAYS get the better half of the deal. When he asks for one of ours, he gives us more than can even fit on our wrists. And then we look like several of my students who can hardly bend their elbows because they have so many.
So, I'm preaching to myself. That's all I got right now.
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