Flawless Fruit

As I sit here, Nathan, Melodi and I are dining on steamy popcorn. Their request for this morning as I babysit. The rain is collecting in miniature pools outside, and going for free falls off the umbrella on the porch. My sweatpants are on, which ensures a wonderful morning. I already had my coconut for the day, and so the day is already well.

Lately I've felt more inspired than usual. Which is odd, considering I have sort of been slacking with my blogging. I usually can't keep myself from writing. And it's not that I don't know what to write. It's more due to the fact that I don't know what to say, or where to start. It's kind of really nice.

I suppose I can admit I didn't have the highest expectations for this summer. I didn't know what to expect. I've gone through a number of changes in the past year or so. I became perfectly satisfied with my life at Greenville, to the point that I didn't know what to do being somewhere else for an extended period of time. I'm all about change. I like adventure. I am fully capable of embracing change. It's exciting. It feels like swallowing cold water first thing in the morning. I enjoy it. It feels good. It's energizing. But when it's a mystery what you're swallowing... it's a little harder to stomach what you're unsure of.

This summer has proven to be surprising. I never expected to hate it by any means... I guess I assumed I'd float through it in some ways, which is basically completely lame. But I've met new people that have richly blessed my life. It's kind of funny to think how meeting people is not something I plan on doing. I never thought at the beginning of the summer, "I can't wait to meet people!" It's home. I already know people here. I don't anticipate meeting new people. It's a funny concept. If I know people already, who else could there be? This summer I have met a lot of new people that I hope I always know. I've gotten to watch a few of my best friends fall in love, and watch some pretty lucky guys fall in love with them in return. I've gotten to train a lot earlier in the summer than I did last year. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my parents this summer. I feel like I know my parents better than I ever have before. My younger siblings and cousins are growing up. It's freaky. But I've gotten to spend more time with them, and get to know them. They have stories to tell. It's awesome.

I love being around people that bring out great things in me. Where it's completely comfortable, and open for me to be exactly who I am, and space for me to be who I'm becoming. It's refreshing. Calming. It's beautiful.

Being around these kinds of people is like the difference between how you feel after you eat super sugary candy, and fresh fruit. Besides obvious differences, they're both sweet. They can satisfy a sweet tooth. But afterwards... the aftermath is much different I dare say. The way I feel when I'm with these people is comparable to how I feel after eating perfect, ripe, and satisfying fruit as opposed to downing a bunch of crap. I'm obviously not in the most poetic of moods. It's not my concern. I just know I need to sit myself down and write.

I feel refreshed. I feel the Lord speaking to me. I can see His hand in my life. I can see Him leading me, and challenging me so that the times I feel in control and sturdy, he knocks me off my feet. But I'm learning to laugh at His antics and take hold of joy when I fall on my crooked back. Yes. I miss my chiropractor in Greenville.

And so, this morning, I am a very thankful person. I am so happy. Life is so good. It's confusing and ridiculous, and absolutely hysterical at times. It makes no sense much of the time. Which makes for a good time. And so, as I close this journal-like blog, I feel like I just finished a perfect plate of flawless fruit. It's good.