Wanna trade?

So I feel like I'm always saying I'm reading through Exodus in the Bible... I guess I just love that book. I just always find so much in it... like I could never read it enough times and get everything out of it. Like a soaked rag... I could squeeze and twist it till I can get not another drop to run off of it... but it's still wet. And so, this is another wring through of this book...

I am always stumped at Pharaoh's stubbornness. So many times I just think, "Dang dude... let the freakin' people go!" Hah... as if I don't know how the story goes... anyway, this time I was struck. Basically I'm just like him. For the first time I realized how similar I am to Pharaoh. He tried so hard to maneuver his way around what God was really asking from him. How many times Moses told him what God was asking... and Pharaoh wouldn't listen. His heart was hard. He knew what God was asking. For the Hebrew men and women and children to be set free. After the plagues of blood, frogs, gnats, flies, the plague on livestock, boils, and hail, Pharaoh starts to maybe possible soften... and he says the men can go.

Exodus 10:11 says, "No! Have only the men go; and worship the Lord, since that's what you have been asking for."And then Moses and Aaron were driven out of Pharaoh's presence.

Bam. That's when the Lord sent the plague of locust. That was not what the Lord asked for. He didn't say, "let my people... as in only the men...go." No. He said all of them.

Holy crap, don't I do that all the time? I settle for only letting the men go when God tells me to let all of His people go.

That was a weird way to put it... anyway, the point is, when God tells me clearly, "Shaina Joy, love that person." And what do I do? I might smile at that person once or twice. Ahhh the job is done! On to the rest of my life. Right? Sonofuhgun! No! That's not it! That's not what He told me.

When he asked me for my life, I say, "Ok, here you go Lord. Do what you will." And yet, I don't let all of His people go. He is constantly asking for everything.

God commanded Pharaoh to let His people go. It's such a common phrase... even to the unchurched. "Let my people go." We know the story even if we didn't grow up in a home where the Bible is practically another person living in the house with the rest of the family.

Well, in my life... how many phrases are used over and over again just like, "Let my people go"? A whole great too many.

"Shaina Joy, let your bitterness go." And I fool myself into thinking I'm letting my bitterness go by changing one word or action for a moment.

"Shaina Joy, let your jealousy go." And I convince myself I'm wrung out when I only twisted the soaking rag once.

"Shai, let your anxiety go." And for some reason I expect painting my toe nails to be the spiritual act of releasing anxiety.

"Shaina. Let your pain go." And I just write a song about the pain instead.

So many things He's told me to let go. And yet I only get the half of it. If that. I do something about what He's telling me... but I don't do WHAT he's telling me.

The point I'm getting at, is God still sent the plague. He sent the locust. Immediately. God didn't say, "Oh, good one Pharaoh! I'll take that!" As if they were trading silly bands...

Hah... yes I did just use silly bands as an illustration. But seriously... what is it with those things? I have one on my wrist right now. As I teach my countless students through the week under the age of 10, not a class goes by without one of them asking what my silly band is. They'll ask me, "Wanna trade?"

I'll be writing on my dry erase board with my students behind me, and turn around to find one of them putting a silly band on the other's wrist. They attempt trading in the middle of conjugating moneo in Present Active Indicative... I advise them to pay attention... (haha... i'm a nerd. Those of you who know Latin know I just translated that word into this sentence. And it makes me so happy indeed) but they get so excited about trading silly bands.

A few times I've seen some kids in the midst of their trading and someone spots a silly band they just have to have. The opponent reacts defensively... that silly band is their favorite. They negotiate. Maybe they'll get four silly bands for that one silly band. An even exchange. They really value that one!

I find myself the child with the silly bands quite often... metaphorically. I'm sticking to my story that I only have one, and it's from my sister Liv, and I wouldn't trade it even if you offered me four:) Anyway, when God tells me he wants one of my silly bands, I try to negotiate with Him.

"I'll give you this one instead."

And He sticks to His story, and tells me the one He wants.

"I'll give you four instead. This one's cool. It's a dinosaur. You'll like it."

I expect God to be pleased with me when I avoid the bottom line. I expect Him to think I'm doing what He asked.

Well, Pharaoh never got away with it. So far I haven't gotten any locust plagues... but how is what I do every day something different?

Something I've learned of God especially in the past few months is He is the ultimate pursuer. When I ache to be pursued in this world I don't always remember how much I'm already being pursued. And He is constantly pursuing me to let more and more go, and to give myself more and more completely to Him.

The things I can never keep in my head... is that when we're "trading silly bands" with God, we ALWAYS get the better half of the deal. When he asks for one of ours, he gives us more than can even fit on our wrists. And then we look like several of my students who can hardly bend their elbows because they have so many.

So, I'm preaching to myself. That's all I got right now.