Veni Spiritum Sanctum

This weekend was the Choir Retreat 2010 at Durley Camp. We sing seemingly nonstop for 24 hours, and are introduced to our 2010-2011 calendar for the Greenville College Choir. We go through every song on the Tour program, as well as almost everything else in our bulging folders.

Several of our songs this year are absolutely gorgeous. I'm so excited to learn them all, and be able to sing them memorized, and with all I've got. I'm a Soprano 1. This means-- for those of you lost at that statement-- I'm the one that leaves you with bleeding ears. Well, me and the other S1's. I love singing high notes. Sometimes I feel like I'm really not giving music my all unless it's super high and takes all my breath and energy.

That's how I feel. That's how I feel about a lot of things. It kind of struck me this weekend. Worship doesn't always take all of my energy. But it does take all of my heart.

In so many of our songs this weekend, I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me. Like He was pulling worship out of me. Stilling me. Quieting me. I was completely overwhelmed in the sense of Him. What's interesting though, is I wasn't even singing. I had hardly sung a note. And the notes I did sing were rather soft. And rather low. I had used nearly no energy at all. Yet that was when I felt Him tugging me into worship. How can that be? I was hardly doing anything. But He was pulling my heart. He was pulling my heart into worship.

We don't always focus on worshipping with our hearts. In so many ways, I never even consider it. I spend so much energy and focus on worshipping with all of my energy, when energy is only one facet of worship. We don't always worship with our hearts. But God blesses our worship anyway.

I'm talking about the moments you feel tingles down your neck like the Holy Spirit is smoothing His breath down from over our heads. The moments we pull in a shaky breath, completely stilled and overwhelmed. Basking in the moment. In the Spirit.

We get carried away with a lot of things. Things like lights, and sound. Our own voices. Our music. Who's next to us. Who's behind us. Who's in front of us raising her hands when we know what she did last night. Who's on stage when we know the attitude he had towards that other guy in the back. Even with waiting to feel the "tingle" or whatever. We get wrapped up in certain expectations too.

God is such a good God. He is just, but He is also Kind and Gracious. He meets with us, and gives us a sense of His Spirit moving among us, and in us, even when we don't bring ourselves to Him with the right heart.

It's so necessary to train ourselves to respond to His Spirit as soon as we sense it. To quiet our minds, and tune in to His. When we feel the "tingles", or feel Something wash over us and pull tears to the front of our eyes... be still. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and minister to you. Worship with a still, and humble heart, receiving all that He's giving. Sometimes it will take all of our energy. Sometimes you'll need to gasp for air. But sometimes, you won't.

Worship is something we'll only get a glimpse of this side of eternity. We're still trying to crack the code of how to "really" worship. But how incredible is it that God still gives us something for trying! He gives us more and more of His presence. He inhabits and receives our broken worship. He is so good. He is so kind.

I want my spirit to constantly be praying, "Come Holy Spirit." Veni Spiritum Sanctum. I want to continuously be seeking His Spirit. In everything. Come Holy Spirit.