Wow.

My goodness. What a peculiar time of life I find myself in... I've stopped feeling bad about how little I've blogged. My life is different. I don't blog as much. It's a season, friends. It's a season.

 I cannot say my world is in disorder. It's not. It's just rearranging. It's not bad. Just because things change, does not mean I need to try to keep all my ends clipped the exact same way they were before. This tapestry is entirely different. I could try to clip my ends the same way, but they won't look the same. Even if I blogged as much as before, it wouldn't be the same. My life is different.

 I am content. I really do feel content. Sure, my patience is tested all the time... I probably don't seem content to some people. I have such an agenda. I know I run over people, especially my family, often. I know I'm just getting closer to the finish line of the school year. I am this way. The end is in sight, and nothing can stop me.

While at Greenville, I learned not to try to change myself, but to attempt to live the best way I can, with the strengths that I have. Sometimes I get frustrated with my strengths. I don't like how driven I am sometimes, because I feel like people tear people like me down.

I was in line at Walmart on Saturday, and I had a hold up because my debit card was being a dork. So I apologized to the couple behind me. The older woman said, "Don't worry about it... that's the problem with people these days. Everyone is always in a rush. It's no problem, don't apologize."

But, I'm good at getting things done. Sure the society sucks with some stuff. And yes, we do rush a great deal. It's probably why so many people have heart disease, let's be honest. But, should I try to change myself, or should I try to manage myself the best way I can?

I don't want to change anything. I just want to be a good manager of what God gives me to work with. I don't want to change anything about my time. I don't even want to change anything about how Caleb and I are still long distanced. I just want to manage this time well.

Back in November, I knew things were about to change. I realized it, and I tried to bask in the now. Last night I had a similar moment. I kept looking around my apartment, and saying, "Wow," out loud. It would probably creep people out if they saw me... but it was a moment of mine. A moment to bask in the now. A moment to simply admire, for what it's worth. It's immeasurable worth, really.

So, I don't want to change anything. I think we have exactly what we have, because God is completely aware of it. Not because things have to change. God is more involved in our lives than we give Him credit for. He's more involved than we're capable of giving Him credit for. He's doing more than we could ever be conscious of.

So that's my two cents for today.